Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Chronicles of Life … on the clock

Why do people keep ruining my worship experience? I try to get my praise and worship on, but the devil is ever busy. Usually it’s some loud child making animal noises or an ignorant suitor using church as the hookup spot that annoys me during the service. But things went to a new level Sunday.

I’m not really a big fan of the whole greet your neighbor segment at church. It’s all well and good, but I have my qualms. Some people just don’t wash their hands. I don’t like touching any and everybody. I get sick enough as it is without catching their germs. I’ll semi participate which means I say howdy to two people and sit down (unless someone comes over). I’m not an official member of any church in Lake City, so I try to stay low key during that portion of the service. I hate being recognized during the fellowship because of my profession. People tend to ask am I writing an article on the service. NO! Can’t I at least be “off duty” for the Lord?
At the service I attended Sunday two women recognized me and mentioned they were going to contact me later. I thought later meant like during normal business hours. One of them just couldn’t wait that long. There I was trying to clap and sing along with the choir (OK I was sitting still as a rock but I do hum in my head) when she passed an announcement from pew to pew to me. Really! She couldn’t at least wait until the offering? In her rush to get it to me she left off vital bits of information. We had to go back and forth correcting it. That ended my sing-along time with the choir.
No place is safe for me anymore. I keep a notepad on hand at all times because I never know who’s going to stop me next. It doesn’t matter if I’m on the phone, in the bathroom or sitting in my car. They absolutely have to share their news right then and there. I go to Walmart late at night because that’s when I’m least likely to be bothered. If someone sees me they will stop to give me information. That’s probably half the reason I’m not a member of a particular church here. People get pushy with their news. I don’t want to have to set some deacon straight if he was trying to discuss work-related issues while passing the communion wine.
It is technically the nature of my line of work to never really be “off duty.” I should be use to it by now. Most times I am, except for when I’m tuned into the service. I’m just glad it wasn’t during the sermon. I think I might start going to church incognito. I’ll create an alias, and no one will know it’s me. Unless there is something Earth shattering that needs coverage right then and there, people can wait to share their news during normal business hours. If nothing else, wait until after church. I’ll get back on the clock then.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Chronicles of Life … Vinegar vignette

It’s amazing the things I go through for my hair. Currently I smell like vinegar – Apple Cider Vinegar to be exact. Cue gag reflex now. My weekly hair regimen includes an ACV rinse after shampooing and conditioning. It is supposed to promote hair growth and a healthy scalp. Right now it is also promoting the desire to vomit. I guess I will keep it up for the sake of my hair. I do so enjoy the way my hair feels after an ACV rinse.

I haven’t always been an ACV enthusiast. Vinegar has never been one of my favorite things. Who in their right mind likes vinegar? It smells like a slow death on a hot summer night. I tried to avoid vinegar at all cost regardless of how little or much was used. No dying Easter eggs, making red velvet cake or eating salt and vinegar chips for me. They all require the use of vinegar. Then it happened: dandruff.

Usually I mix baking soda with my shampoo or conditioner for a clarifying treatment. In October I ran out of baking soda and never remembered to get some more. Soon I started having an itchy head. When I scratched it looked like snow was falling. Not. Cool. At. All. If I didn’t get a handle on it people would probably start calling me Dandruff Girl. I could have used baking soda again, but there is something about it that doesn’t mesh as well as I like with my hair. So I researched different treatments on natural hair sites and Both mentioned ACV rinses and provided recipes which seemed simple enough to make.

Sometimes I’m a homemade hair care product junkie. I’ll try almost anything once on my hair. I’ve left a yogurt and honey mixture on my hair overnight (it felt soft as lamb’s wool the next day). Eggs have found their way on my head (it’s a great protein treatment). Even Kool-Aid was once used for a quick dye job (I was a red head for a week). I figured it was time to give ACV a try. Silly me thought since it was made from apples the normal vinegar odor would be missing.

My concoction included one part ACV, two parts water and a dollop of honey mixed together in a bowl. The mixture was poured over my head after shampooing and conditioning and I rubbed it into my scalp for about three minutes. Those were the longest three minutes ever. IT SMELLED HORRIBLE. I thought I was going to pass out. If you ever want to torture me, just cover me in vinegar, and I will sing like a canary.

But I could immediately feel the difference in my hair after rinsing the mixture out. Normally baking soda makes my hair feeling clean but very dry. The ACV rinse provided squeaky clean and moist hair results. I’m official a fan of ACV rinses now. Except for when it gets into my nose, which happened a few weeks ago. I thought the Death Angel was coming for me. The smell lingered way longer than normal. I went to bed and woke up the next morning still smelling vinegar. Yuck!

The bad thing about ACV rinses is no matter what I add to it – lemon juice, honey, water – it still smells. There is no escaping it. I have to hold my nose just to mix it together. And if you don’t pour it just right, it will get on everything but your hair. At least the smell disappears almost instantly after rinsing it out or drying. And a bottle only costs about $1. That’s a product price I can really enjoy.

For now ACV is my go to hair ingredient. People say beauty is pain. Smelling vinegar is a small price to pay for luxurious locks. I’ll happily suffer through the smell to miss out on dandruff.