tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16687050110946195242024-03-05T19:01:41.007-05:00 The anTONIa Chronicles The random musings of an ex-reporter formerly known as TONI. TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.comBlogger334125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-22456749638252392262016-01-01T21:32:00.002-05:002016-01-01T21:32:25.963-05:00Have a Happy New YearIt's 2016 everyone! I blogged for seven days straight. This little social experiment is now over, but I am happy to each and every person who read (Sabrina and Cee).<br />
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I hope to post more this year, but no promises. Grad school will probably have me writing over time. My official resolutions include:<br />
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lose weight (a carryover from last year)<br />
add more variety to my reading list (not just historical romance novels)<br />
stay focused in school and make Bs or better (because my job only reimburses Bs)<br />
dye my hair (It's been black for 10 years)<br />
send holiday cards (we're taking that after Thanksgiving photo if it kills me)<br />
learn to ride a bike (seriously how can I still not ride)<br />
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It is my prayer that every one has a fantabulous 2016 that grows brighter and better with each passing day.<br />
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<i>What are your resolutions?</i>TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-69107682449799161612015-12-31T16:23:00.004-05:002015-12-31T16:23:48.830-05:00Watch the New Year<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I enjoy a good New Year’s
Eve party like the next person, but this year I will be attending Watchnight
Service at church.<br />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">According
to Wikipedia, "A <b>watchnight service</b> is a late-night </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Christian"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Christian</span></a><span style="background: white;"> </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_service" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Church service"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">church service</span></a><span style="background: white;">.
In many different </span>Christian traditions<span style="background: white;">,
a watchnight service is held late on </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year%27s_Eve" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="New Year's Eve"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">New Year's Eve</span></a><span style="background: white;">,
and ends after midnight. This provides the opportunity for Christians to review
the year that has passed and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repentance_(theology)" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Repentance (theology)"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">make confession</span></a><span style="background: white;">, and then prepare for the year ahead by </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_prayer" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Christian prayer"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">praying</span></a><span style="background: white;"> and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year%27s_resolution" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="New Year's resolution"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">resolving</span></a><span style="background: white;">. The </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Service_of_worship" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Service of worship"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">services</span></a><span style="background: white;"> often include singing, praying, exhorting, and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preaching" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Preaching"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">preaching</span></a><span style="background: white;">.<sup id="cite_ref-Lawrence_2-0" style="unicode-bidi: -webkit-isolate;"> </sup>Watchnight
service has added significance and history in the </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_church" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;" title="Black church"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">African-American community</span></a><span style="background: white;"> in the United States, since many slaves were
said to have gathered in churches on New Year's Eve, in 1862, to await news and
confirmation of the enactment of the Emancipation Proclamation by President
Abraham Lincoln, on January 1, 1863."<br />
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My
family has always attended Watchnight service for as long as I can remember. In
fact, it wasn't until I had graduated from college that I actually didn't
attend it. I used to host Birthday/New Year's Eve parties and
would conveniently avoid going. But a few years ago I decided to go
to Watchnight Service instead. Yours truly is a work in progress when it comes
to her Christian walk and relationship with God. But I really did enjoy the
service, and have been going ever since (except the year my friends came
into town for my birthday). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The
service typically features singing, testimonies (or testalying), a sermon and
more. As an adult, I don’t attend Watchnight out of habit, but because it is
something I genuinely enjoy. That lets me know I’m headed in the right
direction with God. Desire, not habit, should form the basis of your relationship.
But I digress. Wherever you bring in the New Year, make sure it’s a safe one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>What
are your New Year’s Eve plans?</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-9058753631435648722015-12-30T19:11:00.003-05:002015-12-30T19:11:54.683-05:00Happy New Year to me<span style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">It's my birthday! The Lord has blessed me to see another year. I say my new year starts on my birthday considering it's so close to the actual start of the official calendar year. </span><br />
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There were some ups and downs in 2015, but it was definitely better than 2015. I was actually happy this birthday instead of slightly depressed.<div>
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I always make a list of things to do by the next birthday. Let's just say I only ever accomplish about half of them. So I'm not going to list them publicly (but yes I keep a copy nearby)</div>
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It is my prayer that 2016 is even better than 2015. I want to be stronger, better, faster, smarter (no Kanye). Happy new year to me!</div>
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Do you feel like your birthday is the start of your new year? Or is that just me?</div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-26778113801828654602015-12-29T20:08:00.000-05:002015-12-31T16:24:04.929-05:00New Year FoodsI just finished chatting with Papa Smurf who was in the store buying black eyed peas for New Year's Day. Naturally that made me think about foods to commemorate the day. Or more specifically what everyone in my family wants on the menu. We are a varied group.<br />
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Ma Dukes wants a low country boil with crabs, shrimp, eggs, potatoes, corn and sausage. My dad wants the traditional trimmings - cornbread, greens, hamhocks. My brother doesn't live for food like the rest of us, so he has no suggestions. He'll probably drink a health shake. </div>
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Personally I'd like all the above with some chitlings, rice and yellow cake with chocolate icing. But I'm not cooking, and will eat whatever they make. </div>
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What's on your New Year's Day menu?</div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-72729759981908917582015-12-28T19:37:00.001-05:002015-12-28T19:37:24.883-05:00New Year Songs<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">
What does one sing in celebration of a new year, other than Auld Lang Syne? I couldn't really think of anything, so I decided to create a playlist of 20 songs from 2015 I really liked, as well as 15 songs that make me think of a new year.</div>
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The Night is Still Young - Nicki Minaj</div>
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Worth - Anthony Brown and Group Therapy</div>
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What Do You Mean - Justin Bieber</div>
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Bad Blood - Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar</div>
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Hotline Bling - Drake</div>
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This Place - Tamala Mann</div>
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Watch Me - Silent</div>
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Lay It All on Me - Rudimental ft. Ed Sheeran</div>
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Drag Me Down - One Direction</div>
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FourFiveSeconds - Rhianna ft. Kanye West and</div>
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One Last Time - Ariana Grande</div>
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Omen - Disclosure ft. Sam Smith</div>
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I luh God - Erica Campbell (I have a <a href="http://theantoniachronicles.blogspot.com/2015/06/i-luh-god-but-not-todays-gospel-music.html" target="_blank">love/hate</a> relationship with this song)</div>
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On My Mind - Ellie Goulding</div>
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Somebody - Natalie La Rose Ft. Jeremih</div>
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Let It Burn - Jasmine Sullivan </div>
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Here - Alessia Cara</div>
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Fill Me Up - Casey J</div>
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Yes You Can - Marvin Sapp</div>
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Hello - Adele</div>
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<b><br />15 New Year Songs</b><br />It's Working - William Murphy<br />Seasons of Love - Cast of Rent<br />Celebration - Kool & the Gang<br />Will 2 K - Will Smith<br />As - Stevie Wonder<br />1999 - Prince<br />This is It - Kirk Franklin<br />Millennium - Robbie Williams<br />Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper<br />Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas<br />Party - Beyonce<br />I Feel Good - Mary J. Blige<br />Get Up - Mary Mary<br />Never Would Have Made It - Marvin Sapp<br />The Best is Yet to Come - Donald Lawrence</div>
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<b><i>What songs would you include on your 2015 playlist?</i></b></div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-82457290335599169982015-12-27T23:13:00.000-05:002015-12-27T23:13:58.326-05:00New Year TraditionWhat better way to ring in the new year than with traditions? The New Year has its own set of traditions just like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Here are a few of my favorites.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>1. Resoutions. Millions of people create lists of things they resolve to accomplish every New Year. My resolutions used to include a variety of items, such as lose weight, start a new hobby and so forth. Usually I fail at my resolutions by February. Yet I still continue to make them.<br />
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2. NYE parties. The roomie and I used to host epic NYE house parties complete with friends, favors and food. Also I've attended a couple of awesome parties with my squad hosted by club promoters. The key to a fun party is having the right people to help you celebrate.<br />
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3. Watch Night Services. Growing up the child of a preacher man meant I spent a lot of time in church, especially on NYE. I will be bringing in 2016 at church for Watch Night Service. The name stems from the night before the Emancipation Proclamation went into effect. Slaves watched the night in preparation for their freedom and praised God. I shall write more on Watch Night Service on NYE.<br />
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What are your New Year traditions?TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-11526468984028909982015-12-26T16:21:00.000-05:002015-12-27T23:14:44.400-05:00Challenge Accepted<br />
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It's almost a new year, 2016, which means people every where are reflecting on the past and planning for the future. One of the things I neglected to do in 2015 was actually post regularly on this blog. Sadly that goal was a colossal failure.</div>
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My homegirl, the fantastic Cee, <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> wrote 25 Christmas-related posts to get into the holiday and blogging spirit. I enjoyed each post and begged and pleaded with her to continue through this last week of the year. She declined and instead challenged me to write instead. No was my initial response. I barely wrote once a month. How could anyone expect or believe I would make seven straight days? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But then I started thinking about a theme for 2016. I decided my <a href="http://theantoniachronicles.blogspot.com/2009/12/chronicles-of-life-new-year-theme.html?m=0" target="_blank">New Year Theme</a> is <b>Challenge Accepted!</b> I plan on pushing myself this upcoming year to accept every challenge (within reason of course). I start grad school Jan. 7 which will definitely bring on challenges. I'm hitting the gym and want to go at least twice a week - another challenge. And I'm also challenging myself to read more than just historical romance novels. So what's one more challenge in the mix? If nothing else this will help me as I challenge myself to be a better writer.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So dear readers, Cee especially, I want you to know challenge accepted. My last seven posts of 2015 start today. Check back daily for random rantings from yours truly (with a bit of a holiday angle).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><b>What challenges are you looking forward to or dreading for 2016?</b></i></span></div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-24213620461674683572015-10-15T00:03:00.000-04:002015-10-15T00:03:00.065-04:00The Chief Usher<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCO-VLR2wuqgW5ukGatXNI19ma2gTG1Q5-l-fNmliyZ02m_-70u0Yx1PFYNXx9VTLD2fvcrCMawXzJpDKXQgQcZu2PAYUVvFjcCN6MuwOMkxjeovmQ8CwwL4uPMU851JVRHwm4nFD6Y_f/s1600/2298BM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCO-VLR2wuqgW5ukGatXNI19ma2gTG1Q5-l-fNmliyZ02m_-70u0Yx1PFYNXx9VTLD2fvcrCMawXzJpDKXQgQcZu2PAYUVvFjcCN6MuwOMkxjeovmQ8CwwL4uPMU851JVRHwm4nFD6Y_f/s320/2298BM.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I need to get my usher outfit right!</td></tr>
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Saints and ain’ts I almost joined the church usher board because I thought it would help me reach my latest career goal – White House chief usher. This position was just calling to me. Obviously church would be the best practice spot. </div>
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<a name='more'></a>I had never even heard of chief usher until a few days ago. I was perusing an Essence Magazine photo gallery showing “29 POWERFUL BLACK WOMEN CALLING THE SHOTS IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.” Among the directors, assistants and advisors was that oh so special position of chief usher. </div>
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Despite certain sources saying I never did anything in church growing up, I was (self-appointed) vice president of the youth usher board. I know how to pass out a tithe envelope or program, direct people around the offering table and all-around greet people with a welcoming smile. Clearly chief usher would be a cake walk for me. </div>
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Immediately I had a vision of me sashaying through the corridors of the White House in white gloves ready to pass out fans when it felt too hot. There would be no party crashers as I led people to a seat during special events. And my usher board would showcase a dignified capitol stroll during the offering, or at a fundraiser, with one hand behind our backs. As chief usher, my board would have a different uniform for every season and occasion. Church usher boards are always snazzy dressers, so I expect no less as chief usher.</div>
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In my mind, chief usher was essentially the usher board president to end all usher board presidents. Not only would I be at the door to direct other ushers to their positions, but I would get to let the pastor, err I mean president, out the doors first so he could greet all the people. All I needed to do was make this dream a reality, and the first step was research. </div>
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Good thing I actually looked up what the position entailed. The chief usher is actually the head of household staff and operations at the White House. My head started hurting from reading the job description. And none of it included passing out fans with a funeral home on the back (they might, but it is highly unlikely). And most head ushers stay in the position for at least 20 years. So yours truly will not be packing up and moving to D.C. anytime soon to become head usher. Maybe I’ll still join the usher board at church, or at the very least the greeters, just to participate in their offering promenade.</div>
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<span class="_5yi_" style="font-style: italic;">Am I the only person who didn’t know the White House had a chief usher? What are your thoughts about church ushers?</span></div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-53496114209537363102015-10-07T17:30:00.000-04:002015-10-15T00:03:39.410-04:00badonk-a-donk blues<div class="MsoNormal">
Too much booty in the pants has never been a problem for me.
Somehow I managed to inherit big boobs and wide hips from my family. But not
the bouncy butt everyone else seems to have. My butt is wide and flat as a
pancake. You can’t bounce a penny or anything else off of it. And of course
family members and friends love to let me know about my butt or lack thereof just
in case I thought for a second I was bootylicious.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I try to take my lack of a donk as gracefully as possible. I
think God blessed me with a flat butt to keep me humble. If I had breasts, hips
and a big ole booty, no one would be able to tell me anything. My milkshake
would bring all the boys to the yard. All the girls would be single as I tried
to beat the guys off with a stick. So I get it, one woman cannot be blessed
with so many assets. But aside from giving me a flawless hourglass shape, a
decent sized derriere would be beneficial for my health.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t know of any research to back this up, but I swear
people with flat butts tend to have more problems in that area. There is just
not enough cushioning to help alleviate constant pressure on the backside. Thus
you tend to have more cysts or abscesses wanting to form on the bottom. And don’t
even get me started on how I have to sit on a pillow at work because my butt
hurts in this chair. I know this is because my butt is flat. Most days I’m OK
sitting, but if I don’t walk around enough, there will be tremendous problems.
I even have an inflatable butt pillow to aid in the pressure. Even as I type
these words, my butt is letting me know I need to get off of it ASAP.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ideally I should get up several times throughout the day and
walk around just to help my butt out. But usually I’m so engrossed in whatever
I’m doing, I don’t think about it until it’s too late – when my butt starts
hurting. Having a flat butt is a serious medical condition (even if my family
and friends think otherwise). As someone who suffers from this condition, it is
my goal to raise awareness. <o:p></o:p></div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-8403224930148388982015-09-01T10:24:00.002-04:002015-09-01T10:24:39.855-04:00Remember whenI used to post on this blog. Unfortunately, not on a regularly basis. I am not making anymore promises about doing better, because they are lies. I will say I am going to write more in my journal, on this blog, for the media. More could very well be just once more this year, once a month or once a week. We shall see.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-72885803105304357872015-06-17T16:10:00.000-04:002015-06-17T16:10:00.027-04:00Another PK rantThe PK struggle is real. I thought it got a little bit better once you're older, but folks keep doing things to irk me. Perhaps the problem is I don't call them out on it. I need to stop being passive and let them know how I feel. The main reason I don't really say anything when a person tries me is because I know I'm easily irritated and petty. It is my responsibility as a person with Irritable Personality Syndrome to not go off all the time. Honestly some of the things people say are jokes meant with no malice. But 30 plus years of the same bad jokes makes the hidden dragon come out.<br />
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This edition of the PK Chronicles has its roots in church (don't they all). Recently I attended services at a visiting church where my dad was the guest speaker. He of course acknowledge the entire family, and after the service we chatted and greeted several people. The service was followed up by a scrumptious meal, and I was feeling mighty happy, feeling mighty fine by that point. It was until I was just about to leave someone irritated me.<br />
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I was chatting with this one woman when she said, "So you're the PK?" Then sister girl began making the sign of the Cross. I think she even said, "Back, back." She thought it was funny. I just got annoyed and walked off. To some, this might seem like a harmless joke, but she was close to getting read like a bestseller. I do not discriminate. I will pop off (sans cussing) in a church. Her actions mimicked what people do when trying to ward off evil creations, particularly demons. I'm no demon. Just because my father is a preacher does not mean I'm any worse than any other child. As a matter of fact, I'm not a child. I'm an adult, and a fairly lame one at that. Don't assume about me.<br />
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At my age, things like this shouldn't bother me. But since I can remember all I've heard is comments like "Preacher's children are always the worse," or "I bet you're bad and wild." Comments like that are very hurtful to a child, and leave lasting scars. It wasn't like I was doing anything bad at the moment for her to bust out with that. I was just minding my business and walking to the car.<br />
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I'm going to start a support group for PKs, so I can help the young (and old) learn how to deal with ignorant comments. Maybe I'll also write a couple of books on this topic: "Diary of a Mad Black PK" or "For PKs who've considered homicide when the comments are enough."TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-91098437893315222192015-06-11T15:47:00.000-04:002015-06-11T15:47:03.634-04:00I luh God but not today's gospel music<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXOudC03wPjy700tjDzfu7HUIffwnTXQK-RxfHVZk2wsmiIMe17J-Xja7T0Jtl23nV7_tUI2SXfi7DGTJJr1LkHhrWve4It5-iuAtSV0jbWip6GXLgAPAIZviemoAe_0gk3LlMLw2iu_xm/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXOudC03wPjy700tjDzfu7HUIffwnTXQK-RxfHVZk2wsmiIMe17J-Xja7T0Jtl23nV7_tUI2SXfi7DGTJJr1LkHhrWve4It5-iuAtSV0jbWip6GXLgAPAIZviemoAe_0gk3LlMLw2iu_xm/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
It's officially! I'm old. I was led to this conclusion after hearing "I luh God" by Erica Campbell for the first time. Actually in full disclosure, I did listen to the first 10 seconds a few months ago. I couldn't take it. Today I watched most of the music video. I hate the song. Like literally hate it. I remember joking with my friends a few weeks ago that Jesus did not die and rise again for us to sound like we're in the trap.<br />
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What happened to the days when Kirk Franklin was too radical for everybody? I remember when "Stomp" had all the old Christians up in arms. Typically I liked Kirk Franklin's music. The only time I wasn't into it was if he sounded too worldly. One of his early songs had a chant, "Go Jesus, Go Jesus, Go!" That called to mind too many main stream rap songs. As a child I always used to think there was a distinct separation between "church music" and "world music." It wasn't necessarily because of anything my parents said. I've just always had my own ideas of what was or was not gospel music.<br />
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Maybe my mindset is wrong, but when I'm going thru, I don't want to hear something that makes me want to join Twerk Team International. Are we twerking for Jesus now? These days I can't tell if people are singing to God or man with some of the gospel songs out. Some days I just rather listen to the old school R&B station instead of suffering through these gospel songs. Am I too old fashioned in my thinking?. Who am I to say how gospel music should sound? It is my prayer that every song offered to God is divinely inspired from a person who's heart is in the right place. But shouldn't we offer a little more reverence in our songs to Him?TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-14933433063684059472015-04-23T18:06:00.001-04:002015-04-23T18:12:58.208-04:00mortality fearsIt's bad enough that I'm overly sensitive. Hearing that a close family member is sick just pushes me to the deep end. Next thing you know I'm sobbing all over the place.<br />
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My dad just told me he must have major eye surgery on Monday. It's related to his diabetes supposedly, and the out patient procedure is about two hours long. Hearing the words surgery and two hours made the tears start coming. I kept it together while on the phone with him, but just as soon as we hung up I started bawling. </div>
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I'm glad he told me. My family has a tendency of keeping bad news away from me. They think it will upset me too much (clearly I'm not helping my case). Honestly, I'm going to get upset either way, so they might as well tell me the news ASAP.</div>
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If I had to pinpoint a reason for my overactive tear ducts it would be fear. Surgeries always make me fear something will go wrong. I can't recall either of my parents really having surgery, especially ones that takes two hours long. And it's on his eyes. What if the doctors botch something up? There goes your vision. </div>
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This also is forcing me to realize my parents aren't immortal. No one is of course. You would think I know that after just dealing with the passing of my grandma last year. That is not to say my dad is going to die from this surgery. But I am a daddy's girl. In my mind daddies don't get sick or need surgery. Granted he's been a diabetic since I was little and even went into a coma related to the illness. But I was so little when it happened that it's not even a distant memory.</div>
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I guess I've always taken for granted the serious complications of diabetes. I tend to just think of it as the disease where you either get it because you're overweight or in his case your pancreas doesn't work so you have to take insulin shots. Nothing major there right? Diabetes affects so many things, and I don't want to read about it right now lest I upset my self further.</div>
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The recovery time from the surgery is two weeks, and he can't read anything. ANYTHING (that would be hard for me). I've already volunteered to come read to him everyday. He turned it down for some reason. I'm trying to figure out how to rework my schedule so I can be with him before and after the surgery and until my mom and brother gets home. Otherwise my mind won't be at ease and my fears will be nonstop.</div>
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TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-63068689848513785092015-03-15T16:45:00.000-04:002015-04-23T18:13:11.577-04:00oh the criticsOh the critics. Where would we be without them? Happier perhaps? No one likes to hear negative criticism, especially me. It puts you on the defensive, makes you second guess yourself and just all around sucks. But such is the case when you publish something for others to see.<br />
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Recently I submitted a column for XOJane.com, and it was published <a href="http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/my-boss-tried-to-make-me-work-for-her-coven" target="_blank">yesterday</a>. The vast majority of the comments were criticisms. Basically the critics hated my story, which is somewhat saddening. I thought I wrote a funny tale. Apparently only my roommie, play cousin and I thought so. I can't say I'm completely surprised at the comments though. I've seen a lot of decent posts on that site get torn apart by commentators. Sometimes they were downright brutal. At least there was quite a bit of constructive criticism on my post. There's always a silver lining!<br />
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At the end of the day, I might not have liked everything that was said, but I did learn quite a few things that should help me improve as a writer. I took somewhat of a sabbatical from posting last year, so I am sadly rusty. The only way to get better is to work on honing my craft. Although I would love to hear words of praises for everything I post, that won't help me grow as a writer. Without critics, we would indeed be happier. But would we improve?</div>
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TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-68801836939418910362015-03-11T23:00:00.000-04:002015-04-23T18:13:29.541-04:00one year laterIt's been one year since my grandma passed away. I still remember the last words we spoke to each other. Thankfully words of love. And I can't forget how she looked the last time I saw her face.<br />
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Those first six months after her passing were rough - extremely rough. I didn't want to do much of anything. Staying in bed, unless I was seeing about family, was all I wanted to do. Everything just seemed too draining. Thankfully my friends helped me get back into enjoying life. Granted I still have my bad days.<br />
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Sometimes I'm happy and can think about my grandma without crying. We had years of good memories, and thinking about them often make me smile. But then there are days like today where every little thing makes me cry. Actually my waterfall of tears began Monday night. I looked at a picture of my aunt (not even my grandma, mind you) and next thing I was bawling for the rest of the night.<br />
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What made things worse was the fact my allergies are acting up. My nose was already runny, so crying just intensified the problem. I woke up looking like who did it and forgot to run. Sadly, I am not one of those people who looks fabulous during and after a good cry. Crying tends to make me look sick. But I digress.<br />
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I miss my grandma (both of them actually) every day, and it still hurts. At least the pain is easing just a bit. I was at 10, but now my pain feels like a 9.99. Some progress is better than nothing. I definitely think attending grief counseling helped a lot with that. Otherwise I might still be in my bed in a cocoon of sadness. And of course going to God kept me strong. Who better understands grief than Him?<br />
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In this year, I've gotten closer to some of my family. There is always a silver lining in every situation. My family has always been close-knit, but not we're even closer. I've also learned some people just can't empathize with your grief, and it's pointless to get mad. It just makes me want to make sure I can comfort others in their time of bereavement.<br />
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Sometimes it's still hard to believe my grandma is gone, and I'll never hear her voice or see her face again. But I know she's in my heart. Dealing with grief is like eating a camel. Just how do you eat a camel? One bite at a time. So I'll continue taking things one day at a time.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-57669397336667595042015-03-10T16:54:00.001-04:002015-03-10T16:54:56.427-04:00hey readers, heyRemember how I was supposed to update regularly? Clearly I am the queen of not posting. Did I even post in February? Let the records reflect I did NOT post. Shame on me. I owe you so much more than I am giving. Let me do better ASAP!TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-42699333650502210662015-02-04T09:29:00.001-05:002015-02-04T09:29:25.770-05:00Habit recapLast month's return to NABLOPOMO was a massive fail on one hand. I totally missed a week's worth of posts! It was my napping habit that got in the way. I take naps during the time most people just go to bed. <div>
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However it did somewhat get me back into the habit of blogging. That's a good thing. I won't be posting every single day, but I will make an effort to post a few times a week. Yes, that's a lofty goal considering I didn't even post once a week for most of last year.<br /><div>
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TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-20571079589376430062015-01-27T22:02:00.001-05:002015-01-27T22:02:04.122-05:00Fast chewing habitI chew my food way too quickly. I practically inhale a plate within 10 seconds of it placed in front of me. I'm not sure when chewing so fast became a habit, but it is one I intend to break.<br />
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I remember an episode of "I love Lucy"said you should chew your food 30 plus times before swallowing. Making it to 20 is greatly pushing it for me. Clearly this is why I'm thicker than a snicker. I eat my food so fast until my body doesn't realize it's in there.<br />
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I keep saying I'm going to start eating slowly, but as soon as a plate is set in front if me I completely forget. I'm not much better with drinks either be it water and juice or wine and liquor. I slurp a cup down in 10 seconds or less.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-63905372746434962832015-01-26T22:51:00.004-05:002015-01-26T22:51:46.346-05:00Skipping habitApparently skipping posts my new habit. And I was doing so well. I wish I could say I had a super cool reason for not posting. I don't. I blame it on forgetfulness in my old age (30 is the new 60). And naps. I've been taking lots of naps. But that's a post for another day.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-64185836311534728442015-01-24T23:17:00.003-05:002015-01-24T23:17:59.888-05:00Repeat song habit<br />
When I like a song I really, really like it. So much until I will repeat it over and over nonstop. I have driven for 30 minutes before listening to the same song on repeat. Usually I try to limit replays to three times. But there are times it increases. Here are a few songs I love to repeat:<br />
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Encore by Cheryl Lynn<br />
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7/11 by Beyoncé<br />
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Latch by Disclosure ft. Sam Smith<br />
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Rather Be by Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne<br />
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Get Lucky by Daft Punk ft. Pharrell<br />
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Happy by Pharrell<br />
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The One by Tamar Braxton<br />
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I Feel Good by Mary J. Blige<br />
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Safe and Sound by Capital Cities<br />
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Diary by Alicia Keys<br />
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<br />TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-69842461685748123652015-01-23T22:10:00.000-05:002015-01-23T22:10:53.926-05:00Bad driving habitYours truly never took the road test in driver's ed. Yet somehow the state of Florida gave me a license. Needless to say I suck at driving. It is really a bad habit. Sometimes I worry my self with my driving. This is why I am at home on a rainy Friday night. My bad driving plus rain does not mix. Actually I drive better in bad conditions. But it stresses me out. I need to practice my driving because it's so bad. I wonder if there is a range available for adults?TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-51756237985052545932015-01-22T15:22:00.001-05:002015-01-22T15:22:23.184-05:00phone breaking habitI missed another day! Egads!<br />
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Phones are not my friends. I just cannot keep a phone for longer than six months at a time. It seems like my favorite habit is to break my phone. I thought an iPhone would make me change my ways. No such luck. Right now I'm walking around with a struggle phone. The screen is so cracked I can barely see on it. Dropping my phone is the main culprit of how I break it. Clearly I need an Otterbox.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-90701970049176740192015-01-20T23:18:00.000-05:002015-01-20T23:18:00.104-05:00sad habitI am sad. The cruise has ended, and it's back to the regularly scheduled program. I don't remember how to work.<div>
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Plus I'm sad to be leaving after spending so much time with my bestie. She lives in another city, so we have a long distance relationship. Come to think of it, the majority of my friends live elsewhere.</div>
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I'm sure it's somewhat a habit for other people to feel sad and melancholy when leaving from an awesome vacation and separating from someone they love.</div>
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At least I have lots of pictures to remind me of this great time.</div>
TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-79688042180768071552015-01-19T23:11:00.000-05:002015-01-19T23:11:00.061-05:00fun habitthe cruise life brings out one of my favorite habits - having fun. notice how i've got my e e cummings swag going on right now. no punctuation today. just fun.<br />
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in case you're wondering what fun i've experience - karaoke, dance parties, eating (that's fun to me lol), sight seeing, reading (another thing fun for me), spending time with friends and much, much more.<br />
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i could go on and on about the fun i'm having, but it's never nice to rub things in. so i shall spare you landlubbers the details. also if i keep writing i'll miss out on more FUN!TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668705011094619524.post-4046935995636879222015-01-18T23:05:00.000-05:002015-01-18T23:05:00.328-05:00cruise eating habit Remember how I was starting the habit of eating healthy? Yeah that went out the window the moment I stepped foot on this cruise. I have been eating everything in sight. It's like my stomach has become a bottomless pit for all this food. And everything is just so good. I don't think I've tasted one bad dish yet. It's like food, glorious food! I tell everyone that a cruise is a fat girl's dream. I will go back to my healthy eating when I return to dry land. As long as the seas have me, I'm going to eat.TONIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535068434352013641noreply@blogger.com0