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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Chronicles of Life … The sum of all fears

I have really random fears. I probably need therapy to deal with them. Unfortunately, I can’t afford it. This chronicle will have to be a substitute.

1.Clowns. I used to like clowns, but one night I sneaked out of bed and looked at “Killer Clowns From Outer Space.” It started the fear. Later I read the book and watched the move “It” by Stephen King. My fear of clowns was further fueled my. I don’t even like Ronald McDonald. Happy Meals are a ploy to get you addicted to McDonald’s. Next thing you know it, you’re morbidly obese. Sheer coincidence that a clown is the mascot for McDonald’s? I think not.
2.Losing my teeth. I absolutely love my teeth. They’re not perfect, but I do have a really nice, straight and white set. I didn’t wear braces or have to use teeth whiteners. I take good care of my teeth by brushing several times a day and visiting the dentist every six months. People always compliment me on my teeth. Such would not be the case if I was Toothless Toni.
3.Crossing the street/ getting hit by a car. If you want to see me break out into a sweat, just watch me cross the street. It’s always a nerve racking experience. I think it’s because my daddy got hit by a car when I was in middle school. He was jogging on the sidewalk, but a drunk driver hit him and dragged him down the street. Since then I have had a deep fear of getting hit by a car. And how do most people get hit? By crossing the street.
4.Choking on pills/tic tacs. I once choked on a tic tac in college. I was talking to a friend when suddenly a tic tac got lodged in my throat. Tic tacs and pills are about the same size. If I can choke on a tic tac, then I can choke on a pill. I tend to crush my pills now and take them with tea, or just chew on them. Yeah it’s disgusting, but at least I don’t choke.
5.Flying on airplanes/ walking up stairs. I don’t have a fear of heights, because I’ll hop on a roller coaster in a minute. However, airplanes and stairs make me nervous. There is just something about being high off the ground in an airplane that makes me want to cry. And I have actually fallen up stairs. Don’t ask me how. I’m nervous that one day I will fall up the stairs bad enough to knock out my teeth.
6.Biting my tongue off. I have a problem with biting my tongue when I chew. It happens quite a bit. Twice I have bit a chunk of my tongue. Not off, but enough to have it bleed profusely for several minutes. It’s almost enough to make me want to stop eating. But a girl’s got to live. It’s only a matter of time before I have no tongue.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” I beg to differ. There is a lot to fear.
The only thing I will say is don’t let your fears completely control your life. I still go to the circus. I cross the street everyday for work. And of course I eat.
However, each activity associated with one of my fears causes a chill in my spine.

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