this, that and the other

The other night I was perusing "Stuff Christians Like" by Jon Acuff and had a laugh fest for a good hour. It got me to thinking several question about this, that and the other regarding church and Christian life, such as:

1. What can you do with old Bibles? My uncle gave me one before I left for college, and last year it fell apart. I thought about throwing it away but wondered if that was sacrilege. Now it just sits on my book shelf unused. Maybe I can find some type of Pinterest project for it.

2. Am I supposed to say grace over everything? Even snacks? Sometimes when I'm midway through a bag of chips I remember I didn't bless it, and then I feel bad. But not bad enough to stop eating. So I usually do a post-blessing. That still counts, right?

3. And am I supposed to pray about everything? Take dating for example. I want some free meals and activities to have nice young men take me out. But is that something God really wants to hear a prayer about? Then again the Bible says you have not because you ask not.

4. Also is it bad that I don't kneel to pray that often? Typically I pray in bed, sitting down or standing up. Sometimes I even write my prayers in a journal. Kneeling only happens on a few occasions. These wooden floors hurt my knees. Maybe I'll request a prayer pillow for Christmas and start kneeling more regularly.

5. Why didn't I join the church sooner? I finally joined last Sunday after attending the same church in Lake City for three year. The very next day, I got an iPhone. I had a mini praise break at the Verizon store. Coincidence? I think not (granted I was also eligible for an upgrade).

6. Does anyone put their offerings in the tithe envelope just so people won't think they're skipping out on paying God? I have direct deposit set up, so it's not like I'll ever actually bring my tithes to church. I don't own checks or carry that kind of cash on me. But it doesn't really matter what people think as long as I'm tithing in the right spirit.

7. What would happen if I just randomly suggested a song that I made up to the choir? Would they still sing it, especially if I acted like it was a real one? The other day I came up with a new spiritual/contemporary gospel jam called, "Let Him Use You." Surely that sounds like a legitimate church song. Now I just need someone to carry the tune.