Back in my dating prime I didn't take break-ups, disappearing acts or ending "friendships" too well. One minute you're all sprung, infatuated or in “like” with a person. The next they're saying you're unable to reciprocate what you expect in return or are too goofy for them. Even worse they might just disappear from the face of the Earth without even a messenger pigeon.
Initially I would cry because those situations hurt my little heart. Often they seemed to end without any advance warning and just out of the blue. It never feels good to be the “dumpee” in a situation. So the tears would rapidly fall for a time. In the words of Pumba, "I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick skinned." It doesn't take much to get the water works going here. Of course that hurt would then turn into anger, and I'd write mean things about them in my journal (I am such a middle schooler).
The other day I was reflecting of my past "situations." I finally realized that none of those guys were any good for me. Of course I was too stupid to see that while we were involved, and I wasted time entertaining them in my life. Would I have ever realized we needed to break things off and take that first step away?
Fortunately God watches out for fools and babies. Sure they ended things for whatever reason, much to my displeasure. In all actuality they did me a favor. Instead of cursing their names in my journal I really should be thanking them.
So here goes:
Dear Crappy Ex-Boyfriend, Movie Buddy, The One That Never Was, Messed Up Teeth and Old Guy,
Thank you for removing yourself from my life. What seemed like a curse was really a blessing in disguise. Here's to NEVER talking to you again in life. But I wish you all the best!
Yours Truly,
Toni
In a way I’m still holding on to those past hurts. But maybe thanking those guys for dropping me is the first step toward letting it go. Granted the pain is still fresh in some cases. Maybe I'm finally learning to be better and not bitter.
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