Artsy Fartsy

There is not an artistic bone in my body. Sure I can string a few words together for a decent sentence or two, but I'm not the creative type who enjoys arts and crafts. Yet for some reason I keep wanting to take on art projects to demonstrate my proficiency, or should I say lack of, in in the craft world.  I blame Pinterest. It's a smorgasbord of DIY projects, crafts and so on. I always feel empowered that I too can make a hair flower, decorative wall hanging or some other random project.

Play pimpin' ain't pimpin'

There are many types of people who irk me. I blame my irritable personality syndrome. But perhaps one type that really gets to me is a play pimp. A play pimp to me is anyone who is flaky, gives a lot of lip service but no action, has a bark but no bite and so forth.

That girl is poisoned

The Death Angel is after me again, and this time he’s using my eyesight against me. Sometimes I wonder if bats might have better eyesight than me. I’ve been known to walk into a mic or door a time or two. But usually my bad eyesight has never seriously impacted my health – until I woke up this morning.

Death of a Family

I bet they would go bowling!

My family is DEAD to me! Well some of my paternal cousins are at least. My brother is the only person who loves me (in addition to my parents, granny, aunts and uncles).

Tell me your name

Is it bad I don’t know anyone’s name at church? I’ve been a member since January but still couldn’t tell you the names of half the people who attend. OK to be fair, there are quite a few people I do know, such as the youth, those who serve on the same ministries as me and several others. But that’s maybe 50 people. Hundreds attend the church. I always have to ask, “Who is that?” when someone mentions a name. There is only one possible solution to help my dilemma: name tags!

the family rant

I love my family. I really do. But sometimes they drive me insane. This is not limited to just my parents and brother. Other family members irk me too, particularly some of my cousins. It's not like they do anything major to annoy me. Unfortunately my irritable personality syndrome magnifies the little things.

PK Q&A

Usually when I see a Facebook question I don’t respond with my two cents. I’ll observe without getting involved. But the other day I had to give my input when I saw this post from someone who attends my dad’s church:

Romantic writings

Use your imagination to come up with a title for this photo.

My name is Toni, and I read romance novels. For years I used to shun this genre of books. Sure I’ve read books that included some romance in the plot, but it definitely wasn’t the central focus of the storyline. My reading lists contained mysteries, random works of fiction or paranormal books. I left the romance novels to my friend, Cee.

Party Planning Woes Part VII

Of course that meeting with Mya didn't happen. It was completely my fault. I ignored her calls from Thursday until Sunday night. I did half-heartedly call on Saturday, but she didn't answer, and I hung up without leaving a message. I was actually busy most of that weekend which is why I missed a few of the calls. But honestly I just didn’t want to talk to her. I avoid confrontation at all costs (which is a post for another day) As a result Mya sort of told me off via text message. I didn’t really read the messages because I knew she was hurt and upset. This was the first major disagreement we’ve had in our 28 years of knowing each other.

Party Planning Woes Part VI

Mya: Like I really want everyone I invited to come and participate. I really want everyone to get along point blank period. I know you’ve been salty with the entire planning and aggravated with everyone but don’t let it show. I feel both of you guys could have been a little nicer to one another. But it is what it is.

Party Planning Woes Part V

The next morning Mya and I had the following text conversation:

Mya: I woke up to screenshots of your conversation with Lynn.

Me: OK. Personally I feel like $150 is not asking for too much. She knew it would have been at least that much from initial planning. And to have the audacity to call me rude and unprofessional! If that ain’t the pot! We were supposed to plan this together and she went ghost for several months despite repeated attempts to contact her. I am not the one for her to try.

Party Planning Woes Part IV

Lynn: You having an attitude and being short is rude and unprofessional. I’m trying to speak to you and ask you questions and resolve issues. If you’re having a bad day say so but please don’t give off the impression that what Mya’s friends think, need and want as it relates to the biggest day of Mya’s life is miniscule to you.

Party Planning Woes Part III

What follows next is our text conversation (with my thoughts):

Lynn: Hey Hun I am so sorry about being out of touch. I have seriously been beyond busy with work and everything. It’s not an excuse but if we can text that wil …(at this point the message is cut off). I haven’t received an e-mail from you so can you brief me on everything via text?

Cry me a river about being busy with work. I’m busy too but I didn’t just go ghost. And yes you didn’t receive an e-mail because when I asked all the bridal party to send their addresses, you neglected to do that as well.

Party Planning Woes Part II

Unfortunately I ended one problem only to be faced with countless others. Perhaps I should have listened to Lynn and reduced the cost. Most of the bridal party told Mya they weren’t going because the price was too expensive if it wasn’t all inclusive. Mya even told me she wouldn’t pay that much for a trip and that my other friends and I have expensive taste.

Party Planning Woes Part I

Writing is therapeutic for me. I might seriously maim someone if I didn’t write out my feelings in a journal or on a blog (which I use to chronicle things that are just too long to write by hand). I present a series on my biggest stressor right now – planning a bachelorette party!

If someone would have told me beforehand that planning a bachelorette party was going to be a massive headache, I might have gracefully bowed out of the position.

My oldest friend (we go back to the crib literally) declared me the Maid of Honor for her wedding taking place in November. Her sister is Matron of Honor and is planning the bridal shower. My job is the bachelorette party. For some reason I thought it would be a piece of cake.

Naked hour

My kind of t-shirt!

I like being naked. Really. Like. It. As a result I have implemented a daily naked hour. Each day I strip down and lay in the bed. It’s refreshing and gets me energized.


It began one particularly hot afternoon when I came home from work and announced, “I need to lay down and be naked for at least one hour.” Living in Florida means it’s hot 90 percent of the time. That in turn means I’m always sweaty and irritable. Couple that with wearing a bra (a torture device for women), and you have one unhappy camper. Naked hour lets me get my nerves together and allows me to cool off in body and mind.

The Principles of Envelope Addressing

Follow this guideline for envelopes.

Students don’t seem to know how to write letters, much less address an envelope, these days. I am on a crusade to make sure that changes. An interesting exchange with a student sparked my motivation for this cause. The way he addressed an envelope left me flabbergasted. The middle was left blank and he placed the address of the recipient in the upper left-hand corner.

the PK plight

Sometimes I feel like people assume because my dad is a pastor they can just recruit me for all things church related without advanced notice, proper preparation or training. They think I know how to do most things church-related. Sure I grew up in the church, but I wasn’t really involved in all the behind the scenes inner workings. I joined a church in January, and since then they have had me doing this that and the other.

the silent game

Last weekend I attended an improv show in Jax with a new friend. She rode with me to the show, but her fiancé was picking her up later. Not long after it ended, the fiancé was on his way. The show was in the downtown area, and somehow he got lost. Considering the roads and layouts of downtown, that’s not too hard to do.

The problem with preschoolers



Preschoolers = the Kindergarteners from Recess.

 It takes a special person to teach children, especially preschoolers. That person is NOT me.

I was recruited to assist with the preschool class at Vacation Bible School last week. I work with the youth ministry at church and even help out in Sunday School with the primary class when needed. A Vacation Bible School class would be easy. Or so I thought.