Too much booty in the pants has never been a problem for me.
Somehow I managed to inherit big boobs and wide hips from my family. But not
the bouncy butt everyone else seems to have. My butt is wide and flat as a
pancake. You can’t bounce a penny or anything else off of it. And of course
family members and friends love to let me know about my butt or lack thereof just
in case I thought for a second I was bootylicious.
I try to take my lack of a donk as gracefully as possible. I
think God blessed me with a flat butt to keep me humble. If I had breasts, hips
and a big ole booty, no one would be able to tell me anything. My milkshake
would bring all the boys to the yard. All the girls would be single as I tried
to beat the guys off with a stick. So I get it, one woman cannot be blessed
with so many assets. But aside from giving me a flawless hourglass shape, a
decent sized derriere would be beneficial for my health.
I don’t know of any research to back this up, but I swear
people with flat butts tend to have more problems in that area. There is just
not enough cushioning to help alleviate constant pressure on the backside. Thus
you tend to have more cysts or abscesses wanting to form on the bottom. And don’t
even get me started on how I have to sit on a pillow at work because my butt
hurts in this chair. I know this is because my butt is flat. Most days I’m OK
sitting, but if I don’t walk around enough, there will be tremendous problems.
I even have an inflatable butt pillow to aid in the pressure. Even as I type
these words, my butt is letting me know I need to get off of it ASAP.
Ideally I should get up several times throughout the day and
walk around just to help my butt out. But usually I’m so engrossed in whatever
I’m doing, I don’t think about it until it’s too late – when my butt starts
hurting. Having a flat butt is a serious medical condition (even if my family
and friends think otherwise). As someone who suffers from this condition, it is
my goal to raise awareness.
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