Sick habit

I was supposed to post this Monday but life happened - mainly I was wallowing in self pity.

I used to be a very sickly person. It was mainly due to allergies. As a child if my parents had the air running the next day would see me with a sore throat. Whenever the seasons changed I would get sick with a cold, sinus infection or even bronchitis. Airplane rides  always made me sick.

It would probably be accurate to say being sick was a habit for me. Friends knew to expect me with tissue in hand at all times. I was never sick for long - a few days in most cases - but I was always sick it seemed. Being sick was just a state of being for me.

One day I decided to change my situation and get somewhat healthier. I started taking vitamin C in 2013 and have slowly but surely gotten much better. Gone are the things of the weather making me sick. I don't have to haul tissue around as an accessory all the time anymore.

The only problem now is when I do get sick, it lasts for days or turns out to be something major. Such is the case now. I've been going to the doctor and getting tests done since October because of some results. Most of these visits have been pain free. At least that was the case until the visit on last Monday. Whatever procedure the doctor did has left me feeling terrible. And the follow up CAT scan wasn't much better.

Now I'm in pain and discomfort all day and there is now another issue that is going to require more testing at the least. I was fine until my appointment but now just two days before I leave in a cruise I not only hear disturbing news but have to deal with unexpected pain.

It's like my sick habit had returned with revenge.

music habit

I love listening to music. Love, love, love it! My focus will seem off if I don't have music playing softly in the background at work. I also must have music at home, while I'm in the shower, cleaning and so on. And of course I have the music going on in the car. Music is playing even as I type this post.

Typically I like a mix of old school R&B and gospel music. There are times I will mix in some new R&B, pop music and even a bit of hip hop.

Usually I just listen to the music, but occasionally I will sing to my heart's delight. I totally sound like Beyonce (if she couldn't sing).

I have a stash of CDs as well as music on my iPhone, but Spotify is what I regularly use to listen to. Before that it was iHeart Radio. I think I like play lists better than radio stations. The radio will play the same seven songs 11 times. That's not so bad if it's a song I love. But imagine the torture if it's a song you despise.

I truly believe music helps the world go round and round (no Tevin Campbell).

lazy habit

Today, or should I say tonight, I don't feel like doing anything. Not my hair, not read a book, nothing. I had a very busy day, but now I am dirt dog tired. I barely feel like writing this post. It doesn't help that I'm feeling a little under the weather as well. Let us hope me being lazy does not become a habit.

Gaming habit

Help! I've become addicted to Candy Crush and Temple Run 2 ... again.

Yes, I know it's been ages since both games came out. For some reason I decided to download them back to my iPhone. Big mistake. Now it's become a semi-regular habit of mine to play the two.

At least with Candy Crush I stop once my lives run out. Unfortunately you can endlessly play with Temple Run 2.

This can't be healthy. Granted I'm not too worried about it. I stopped playing both cold turkey after about six months of intense gaming. Apparently that didn't work because here I am again.

Whoever invented both these games is a genius (or the devil). Now back to the game I must go.

Sleep habit

I am trying to get back into the habit of having 8 hours of sleep. Of course it would help if I actually went to bed on time. Instead I stay up late. Doing what you might ask? Reading. It's an addiction. Unfortunately it is one I need to break before I started getting bags under my eyes and end up looking 40. Fun fact I turned 30 on Dec. 30th. My brother keeps telling people I turned 40. They may very well start to believe him if I don't get the proper amount of rest. So I'm going to end this post and get at least 7 hours of sleep.

packing habit

In exactly one week yours truly will be sailing the high seas for a five-day cruise to the Western Caribbean. I'm leaving from Miami and heading to Key West and Mexico. The packing process has already started in anticipation of the event.

Once upon a time I used to be the person who packed at the very last moment. And by last moment I mean an hour or so before I was supposed to leave. Surprisingly I never forgot anything important. Granted there were a few occasions my last minute packing caught up with me and I had to break down and buy something I already had a gazillion of at home. I blame my parents. They pack hours before leaving. Needless to say I copied their example for many years.

It wasn't until August 2012 I started to get into the habit of packing in advance. My best friend and I were going on a cruise. It was my first cruise ever. I packed a couple of days in advance for fear of leaving something that I wouldn't be able to find on the seven seas. By the time my Europe Trip in 2013 rolled around in March I had packed almost two weeks in advance. Now at the very least  I pack a week in advance for a trip.

Packing for a major trip makes me excited. Sometimes it's so much excitement that I forget something. So it's a good thing I pack well enough in advance, complete with lists to check off, to make sure I have it all together. Heaven forbid I  end up ready to board a plane or the boat and realize my passport was left behind.

irritable habit

Folks I am one irritable individual. Or maybe I should say I am easily irritated. It seems like being irritable is a habit I just can't break. I even made up a disease - Irritable Personality Syndrome - because of how much it effects me.

I know irritable personality syndrome must be a real thing because I suffer from it on a regular basis. A PSA for IPS would probably read like this: Did you know 1 in 3 Americans suffer from Irritable Personality Syndrome?

 Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a cure or even a support group for IPS. So I am trying different coping mechanisms to deal with it. One of them is Jeremy.

Recently I decided to create Jeremy, my very own personal assistant. Jeremy is a composite of all the people who irk me. Instead of taking my irritation out on them or resorting to my bad habit of calling people imbeciles, Jeremy will now bear the burden of it alone. Surely this well help aid me in ending my irritable habit.

I'm not sure why I picked the name Jeremy. Probably because he's a cousin of Jeff, the invisible teammate. Have you ever wondered who your favorite QB was throwing to when the ball landed nowhere during a football game? It was Jeff, the world's worse teammate. But I digress.

Just like Jeff can do no right, neither can Jeremy. Right now all I can seem to yell at him is, "You only had one job Jeremy!" For some reason it makes me feel better and less likely to bite someone's head off. I keep threatening to get rid of Jeremy, but at least he serves a useful purpose for channeling my irritable energy.

cooking habit

You've surely noticed by now that I am following a writing theme this month. Each post has been about a habit I am working on. Habits are so much better to think about than goals for me. So seeing this as the topic for January NaBloPoMo was awesome. It's giving me an opportunity to really think about my habits. But I digress.

Today's habit is cooking. I hate to cook. I love to eat, but the effort of getting there annoys me. It is my heart's desire to one day be rich enough just so I can employ a personal chef. Cooking soothes some people. It causes stress in my life. I already have enough stress, and don't need to add on to it. Mainly it's because I'm not that great at cooking. I have no desire to be Betty Crocker and it reflects in my cooking. Sure there are some things I do really well - cranberry sauce, oven fried chicken, banana bread - but most of what I cook sucks. So I don't do it that often.

This year I am trying to change that and get into the habit of cooking at least a few times a week. It's healthier and cheaper than going out to eat all the time. Tonight I made pizza biscuits. It was fairly simply to throw together. I tend to look for recipes with less than five ingredients that can be made either in the crock pot, or in the oven in 30 minutes or less. The pizza biscuits fit the criteria perfectly.

Here's what I did: I baked the biscuits (yes, canned ones) for 10 minutes, opened them and put Alfredo sauce (about a 1/4 a cup to cover four), three turkey pepperoni and a piece of kale on one half and mozzarella  and two turkey pepperoni on the other. I returned them to the oven for another seven minutes and voila, dinner was served.

On Wednesday I'll make something in the crock pot. I think it will be my specialty - chicken and vegetable stew. My cooking habit is already off to a good start.

Bible habits

Reading the entire Bible is a habit I have attempted several times now. I have yet to read all the way through. I always start off strong at the beginning of the year, but then somehow it gets pushed to the side. Each year my dad reads the Bible all the way through via a different translation. One day I'll get like him.

I blame the devil. Well mainly it's due to laziness and a lack of dedication on my part. Sure some of the books are a lot drier than others as far as reading goes (I'm looking at you Corinthians). That's no excuse to just stop and let the reading fall by the wayside.

This year, I am determined to finish reading the entire Bible. I'm going to do it! I just bought The Message Bible for my Kindle. I used to read this translation online, but I felt like I needed to actually own it. The Message Bible is one of my favorite translations because it is easy to comprehend. Sometimes the wording cracks me up, because it really brings a verse alive. King James is just not for me. New King James isn't much better.

 Today is the day I kickoff the reading, mainly because my plan is based on days not dates. I'm starting where I left off last year (Jeremiah). Once I finish, I am going to try a different Bible Reading plan. The one I have is just straight through. I am motivated to form this habit.

Night life habit

Guess who is trying to increase her nightlife habit? This girl right here.

Normally I don't spend my evenings doing much of anything. Reading dominates my night life activities. This time I actually went out and about.

 I am hanging with my friends some old and some new. This has been a great way to end my Christmas break.

 Here's hoping I keep up this habit of actually doing something each week.

Reading habits

Tracking my reading has become somewhat of a habit over the last two years. An avid book lover, such as myself, needs someplace to record what she has read in a year. I use Goodreads because it allows you to set a yearly reading goal.

I started with a goal of reading 104 books in 2013. I actually exceeded that goal by more than 20 books. My list it was filled with fiction ranging from mysteries to romance novel. Adding the Kindle app to my phone and laptop is what really pushed me way over the goal. Getting an actual Kindle for Christmas was also a game changer. The Kindle is perhaps the best thing since sliced bread.

Sadly I didn't make my goal for 2014 - 140 books. Life happened, and I had a period of inactivity regarding reading (and apparently everything else in my life). I think I finished with a little more than 132 books. That wasn't too bad.

My goal for 2015 is to actually read 140 books. That averages out to about three books a week. Really that should be a cake walk for me. I don't watch TV that much, and love to spend my time reading.

Mainly I read historical romance novels, but this year I want to incorporate other genres. Woman can not live by romance alone. But I do so love reading a tale or two about a dashing duke, magnificent marquess or valiant viscount. Alas, I must make it a habit to expand my reading horizons.

Back in the habit

In 2014 I took a break from writing. I didn't write in my journal (the horror), on my much neglected blog or even on Facebook.
It's time to remedy my sabbatical from writing. At the very least, I plan on journaling again.
There wasn't just one thing that made me stop writing, but I don't plan on making excuses in 2015.
Let's just say last year was the worse ever. The absolute worse.
I am hopefully optimistic that this year will be the best ever.
For the next month I plan on posting regularly to help me get back into the habit of writing.
Who would have imagined I could lose my zeal for writing? Sadly  it happened, but out with the old in with the new.

crying foul

I forgive, but it takes a while to forget.

The other day my BFF cussed me out. Like literally cussed me out. I think I got called everything but a child of God. It hurt me too. I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned.

Perhaps had I done something particularly horrible to her (killed her dog, stole her husband, robbed her), I might have understood her foul display directed at me. But I didn't. A joke I made at her expense about lateness set her off, especially because she had a bad day. 

Character costumes

I would make a great Susie!

In just a few short days Halloween will be here. I plan on enjoying Fla-Ga festivities in Jacksonville instead of passing out candy to the kids this year. And right now I have no immediate plans for really dressing up.

Grief Etiquette 101

I took a break (again), but I’m back. Let Writing Wednesdays resume once more.

Unfortunately I’ve had to work through grief over the past few months due to the passing of my beloved grandma. This isn’t the first time a loved one has passed away, but quite naturally it hurts deeply to the core of my heart.  I’m finally coming to terms with my grief thanks to lots of prayer, grief counseling, and the support of family and friends. However, I cannot come to terms with the blatant ignorance of grief etiquette I’ve experienced. If my grandma was here, we would probably sit at her kitchen table and discuss the offending parties. Alas and alack she is not. Instead I must write about it. It’s almost as if the world needs an etiquette book on dealing with a bereaved family. If I wrote such a book, a few chapters would look something like this:

Chapter 1: Your maid doesn’t live here.

Don’t ask a member of the bereaved family to prepare your plate when you come to “comfort” them. At one point I was ready to snap on people visiting the family because they kept sending me to get something.  Apparently it didn’t matter my grandma just passed away. Most visitors were quite capable of getting their own plate. Yet I kept getting requests to make a to go plate or a to stay plate. I should have given them a plate in the face. And don’t even get me started on a visitor who was trying to get a slice of a cake someone made for my cousin, while she was crying to the side. No one cares about getting you cake, food, soda or anything else. Get it your own self. You should be making sure the family is served, not the other way around.

Chapter 2: Age ain’t nothing but a number.

I know people mean well, but so many statements are annoying for a grieving family, such as, “I know what you’re going through.” Actually you don’t. You can empathize, but you have no idea. Avoid saying that. Also there is another phrase to avoid. I hated the question, “How old was your grandma?” Often when I answered, “In her 80s,” the response was, “Well she lived a long life.” Is that supposed to make me feel better? That doesn’t make the pain easier. She lived for 80 + years, but I only had her for 29 of them. She could have lived to 100, and her passing would have still been too soon for me. Just strike the entire “lived a long life” phrase from your mind.

Chapter 3: It’s a shame what you say.

People get shamed for everything, but it doesn’t make it right. It’s even worse when someone is grieving. I wrote a good thousand words about my family getting “shamed” (grief shaming and fat shaming specifically). So I won’t linger too long on this point. The key thing to remember is you don’t shame a person for how they grieve. Grief is not specific to one person in the family. We all have pain. And commenting on a person’s weight gain (or weight loss) is the quickest way to get told off. Or in my case, to get an article written about you and posted on an online publication (the pen is mightier than the sword).

Chapter 4: Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee

Don’t try to take items of the deceased from family members. I have developed quite the attachment to my grandma’s dusters. Not only do they make me think of her, but they are absolutely comfortable and feel fantastic. It’s like naked hour with clothes on (much to my roommate’s relief). One visitor had the audacity to tell me I better give her some of my grandma’s dusters. She was on the quick track to getting told off. Those dusters are my inheritance. Grieving families are under no obligation to give any of their loved one’s possessions away. Demanding something from them is just downright rude.

I could go on and on. I’ve realized people can be stuck on stupid when you’re just trying to grieve. The Incredible Hulk side of me almost came out, more than once and rightly so. Perhaps my future book, “Grief Etiquette 101- How NOT to Get Stabbed by the Bereaved,” will make the world a better place for bereaved families everywhere.

What etiquette tips do you have to share? Or is your grief etiquette lacking?

Writing again

Many moons have passed since I last posted something. Honestly, I can't even blame it on my granny's passing because I had already started a sabbatical. I'll blame that on not having a laptop. Yes, poor Nettie went to her reward. Quite naturally it didn't help when Grandma Pearl went to her Heavenly home either.

For a while I wasn't writing anywhere - work, journal, online. It was as if the words just up and died within me. Depression had me only wanting to wear my grandma's duster and lay in the bed just looking at the walls. Reading wasn't even an activity I wanted to do.

Slowly but surely I have come out of my funk. I attribute it to grief counseling and my ever vigilant friends who made sure I didn't jump off a cliff (shout out to the fantastic Cee for "suicide watch). Let me state for the record Cee didn't think I was really going to commit suicide. But she did think I was going to just lay in the bed forever never to come out and play. It was certainly looking that way for awhile.

At any rate, I'm back. Granted, I still have my bad days, but they don't last for weeks on end. And I'm starting group therapy with grief counseling to help out too. Most of all I'm writing again. Grandma Pearl would want me to continue to do so. In her memory I will.

Reflections on my grandmother

Unfortunately my grandma passed away a few weeks ago. It was a shock to the family, and no one is really taking it well. She was my last living grandparent and the only one to see me reach almost every single milestone (graduating from high school, college, getting a first job, getting a better job, buying my first car). The only things she won't get to see is me getting married, having children or graduating with a master's. On the program I gave reflections as a grandchild. Though I spoke from the heart, there was actually a written draft which appears below:

True Confessions of a Goody Two-Shoes

Goody two-shoes was a nickname that followed me around for years as a child. But sometimes I wonder if the sobriquet was truly earned. It's not like I really had to work hard at it. Maybe I would feel a little better if my life was more like an after school special, or at the very least a D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) scenario.

Back to School Pressures

Family members have been urging me to go back to school for a master’s degree since the day I graduated with a bachelor’s. It’s starting to get annoying. Whenever I mention an upcoming trip they find a way to turn the conversation to the fact that I could be using that money for school. Perhaps I could if it was a priority for me.

the call

One thing very important to me is my relationship with the Lord. Quite naturally I don’t take too kindly when someone mocks it. Such was the case the other day with a gentleman caller. I met him last Friday and a gas station. He was polite in his approach, so I gave him my number. Mistake one. Everyone who asks for your number doesn’t deserve it. Unfortunately I said in 2014 I would be less discriminating when it came to males. I graced him with the digits; despite the fact I could already tell he wasn’t my type. Sure he was attractive and didn’t sound like an idiot when speaking, but I still had the feeling I didn’t want to be bothered. I didn’t listen to that feeling. Mistake two.

Goodbye Green Machine



What the Green Machine looked like in its glory days.

The Green Machine is no more. It fought the good fight and finished its course. My beloved first car has gone on to the great car lot in the sky. Contrary to its appearance and lack of maintenance I did indeed love the Green Machine. How could I not love it? It was my favorite color, kept on chugging along with nary a complaint and got me from point A to point B. I can fondly tell you about every single dent, scratch or spray painted spot on that car.

The Gift

Why ask for something you'll never use?

Not so many years ago I was a poor, recent college grad. It was all I could do not to sell plasma. OK maybe I wasn't in such dire straits, but I was far from making millions. Regardless of my financial status, or lack thereof, I always tried to make sure that family and friends received decent Christmas gifts.

What's my age again?

Can someone please remind me of my age? I can’t seem to make it stick in my mind, and it’s starting to affect my goal setting.

No. 1 goal, finish my list.

How's my driving

Friends don't let me drive.

Riding with me while I’m driving will definitely make you feel closer to God. And it’s not just because I keep two Bibles in the car. I’m a horrible driver. Perhaps the world’s worse driver. There’s just no better way to put it.

Artsy Fartsy

There is not an artistic bone in my body. Sure I can string a few words together for a decent sentence or two, but I'm not the creative type who enjoys arts and crafts. Yet for some reason I keep wanting to take on art projects to demonstrate my proficiency, or should I say lack of, in in the craft world.  I blame Pinterest. It's a smorgasbord of DIY projects, crafts and so on. I always feel empowered that I too can make a hair flower, decorative wall hanging or some other random project.

Play pimpin' ain't pimpin'

There are many types of people who irk me. I blame my irritable personality syndrome. But perhaps one type that really gets to me is a play pimp. A play pimp to me is anyone who is flaky, gives a lot of lip service but no action, has a bark but no bite and so forth.

That girl is poisoned

The Death Angel is after me again, and this time he’s using my eyesight against me. Sometimes I wonder if bats might have better eyesight than me. I’ve been known to walk into a mic or door a time or two. But usually my bad eyesight has never seriously impacted my health – until I woke up this morning.

Death of a Family

I bet they would go bowling!

My family is DEAD to me! Well some of my paternal cousins are at least. My brother is the only person who loves me (in addition to my parents, granny, aunts and uncles).

Tell me your name

Is it bad I don’t know anyone’s name at church? I’ve been a member since January but still couldn’t tell you the names of half the people who attend. OK to be fair, there are quite a few people I do know, such as the youth, those who serve on the same ministries as me and several others. But that’s maybe 50 people. Hundreds attend the church. I always have to ask, “Who is that?” when someone mentions a name. There is only one possible solution to help my dilemma: name tags!

the family rant

I love my family. I really do. But sometimes they drive me insane. This is not limited to just my parents and brother. Other family members irk me too, particularly some of my cousins. It's not like they do anything major to annoy me. Unfortunately my irritable personality syndrome magnifies the little things.

PK Q&A

Usually when I see a Facebook question I don’t respond with my two cents. I’ll observe without getting involved. But the other day I had to give my input when I saw this post from someone who attends my dad’s church:

Romantic writings

Use your imagination to come up with a title for this photo.

My name is Toni, and I read romance novels. For years I used to shun this genre of books. Sure I’ve read books that included some romance in the plot, but it definitely wasn’t the central focus of the storyline. My reading lists contained mysteries, random works of fiction or paranormal books. I left the romance novels to my friend, Cee.

Party Planning Woes Part VII

Of course that meeting with Mya didn't happen. It was completely my fault. I ignored her calls from Thursday until Sunday night. I did half-heartedly call on Saturday, but she didn't answer, and I hung up without leaving a message. I was actually busy most of that weekend which is why I missed a few of the calls. But honestly I just didn’t want to talk to her. I avoid confrontation at all costs (which is a post for another day) As a result Mya sort of told me off via text message. I didn’t really read the messages because I knew she was hurt and upset. This was the first major disagreement we’ve had in our 28 years of knowing each other.

Party Planning Woes Part VI

Mya: Like I really want everyone I invited to come and participate. I really want everyone to get along point blank period. I know you’ve been salty with the entire planning and aggravated with everyone but don’t let it show. I feel both of you guys could have been a little nicer to one another. But it is what it is.

Party Planning Woes Part V

The next morning Mya and I had the following text conversation:

Mya: I woke up to screenshots of your conversation with Lynn.

Me: OK. Personally I feel like $150 is not asking for too much. She knew it would have been at least that much from initial planning. And to have the audacity to call me rude and unprofessional! If that ain’t the pot! We were supposed to plan this together and she went ghost for several months despite repeated attempts to contact her. I am not the one for her to try.

Party Planning Woes Part IV

Lynn: You having an attitude and being short is rude and unprofessional. I’m trying to speak to you and ask you questions and resolve issues. If you’re having a bad day say so but please don’t give off the impression that what Mya’s friends think, need and want as it relates to the biggest day of Mya’s life is miniscule to you.

Party Planning Woes Part III

What follows next is our text conversation (with my thoughts):

Lynn: Hey Hun I am so sorry about being out of touch. I have seriously been beyond busy with work and everything. It’s not an excuse but if we can text that wil …(at this point the message is cut off). I haven’t received an e-mail from you so can you brief me on everything via text?

Cry me a river about being busy with work. I’m busy too but I didn’t just go ghost. And yes you didn’t receive an e-mail because when I asked all the bridal party to send their addresses, you neglected to do that as well.

Party Planning Woes Part II

Unfortunately I ended one problem only to be faced with countless others. Perhaps I should have listened to Lynn and reduced the cost. Most of the bridal party told Mya they weren’t going because the price was too expensive if it wasn’t all inclusive. Mya even told me she wouldn’t pay that much for a trip and that my other friends and I have expensive taste.

Party Planning Woes Part I

Writing is therapeutic for me. I might seriously maim someone if I didn’t write out my feelings in a journal or on a blog (which I use to chronicle things that are just too long to write by hand). I present a series on my biggest stressor right now – planning a bachelorette party!

If someone would have told me beforehand that planning a bachelorette party was going to be a massive headache, I might have gracefully bowed out of the position.

My oldest friend (we go back to the crib literally) declared me the Maid of Honor for her wedding taking place in November. Her sister is Matron of Honor and is planning the bridal shower. My job is the bachelorette party. For some reason I thought it would be a piece of cake.

Naked hour

My kind of t-shirt!

I like being naked. Really. Like. It. As a result I have implemented a daily naked hour. Each day I strip down and lay in the bed. It’s refreshing and gets me energized.


It began one particularly hot afternoon when I came home from work and announced, “I need to lay down and be naked for at least one hour.” Living in Florida means it’s hot 90 percent of the time. That in turn means I’m always sweaty and irritable. Couple that with wearing a bra (a torture device for women), and you have one unhappy camper. Naked hour lets me get my nerves together and allows me to cool off in body and mind.

The Principles of Envelope Addressing

Follow this guideline for envelopes.

Students don’t seem to know how to write letters, much less address an envelope, these days. I am on a crusade to make sure that changes. An interesting exchange with a student sparked my motivation for this cause. The way he addressed an envelope left me flabbergasted. The middle was left blank and he placed the address of the recipient in the upper left-hand corner.

the PK plight

Sometimes I feel like people assume because my dad is a pastor they can just recruit me for all things church related without advanced notice, proper preparation or training. They think I know how to do most things church-related. Sure I grew up in the church, but I wasn’t really involved in all the behind the scenes inner workings. I joined a church in January, and since then they have had me doing this that and the other.

the silent game

Last weekend I attended an improv show in Jax with a new friend. She rode with me to the show, but her fiancé was picking her up later. Not long after it ended, the fiancé was on his way. The show was in the downtown area, and somehow he got lost. Considering the roads and layouts of downtown, that’s not too hard to do.

The problem with preschoolers



Preschoolers = the Kindergarteners from Recess.

 It takes a special person to teach children, especially preschoolers. That person is NOT me.

I was recruited to assist with the preschool class at Vacation Bible School last week. I work with the youth ministry at church and even help out in Sunday School with the primary class when needed. A Vacation Bible School class would be easy. Or so I thought.

Give Dad his due

Is it just me or do good dads not really seem to get the love and respect they deserve on Father’s Day? Take for instance the cards available for the occasion. Father’s Day cards are a joke compared to Mother’s Day. Most seem to be filled with back-handed compliments, undercover insults or are just plain rude. Fathers are often portrayed as lazy, henpecked or worse in those cards. If I see one more card saying, “Dad here’s your day to do absolutely nothing and not get in trouble with Mom!” I am going to call Hallmark and give them a piece of my mind.

The definitive reunion

“Reunited and it feels so good!” Peaches and Herb were on to something with that song. It does indeed feel good to be reunited as I discovered during my class reunion last week.

reunion worries

My high school senior shirt.

Suddenly ten years don’t seem quite that long. In just two days I’m attending my first class reunion. Can you believe it? The days have gone by too quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was walking the halls of high school (actually I was because my job involves working with students, but you catch my drift). 

Business hours

Sometimes a dating woman needs business hours.

Gentlemen callers used to be a little more respectful of when they called a lady. A phone call after 12 a.m. was a definite no-no (unless you were a booty call at which point respect is not a factor). Unfortunately, I’ve started to notice that guys are calling later and later and thinking it’s OK. Newsflash fellas: IT’S NOT! For that very reason a dating woman needs business hours for male callers.

Better, not bitter

Back in my dating prime I didn't take break-ups, disappearing acts or ending "friendships" too well. One minute you're all sprung, infatuated or in “like” with a person. The next they're saying you're unable to reciprocate what you expect in return or are too goofy for them. Even worse they might just disappear from the face of the Earth without even a messenger pigeon.

the letter

Dear Wesley,
Where's my letter?
Signed your friend,
Toni

Letter writing seems to be a dying art form these days. Facebook, Twitter and e-mail have done away with sending messages, except for the occasional Christmas card. Randomly I send letters or cards to folks whenever the mood strikes (usually at Easter and during the summer). In most cases, people either write me back or at least acknowledge receiving the correspondence. Such was not the case with a certain celebrity.

Green-I-am

Would you like green eggs and ham?

Green Eggs and Ham always was hilarious to me. Sam-I-am was just so persistent about getting the other character to eat the dish. The story was a good example of how we should be open to trying new things. Not to long ago I had my own green eggs and ham experience.

Hymnology 101

The leader always has this handy when lining a hymn.

Growing up a preacher’s child exposed me to a lot of church traditions throughout my childhood, such as hymn lining. Unfortunately future generations might miss out on it. A few months ago I watched a video about hymn lining becoming a disappearing tradition. Hymn lining is a form of call and response and dates back to slavery times within the black church. Typically a leader sings, or lines, the verses of a hymn in a suggested tune and the congregation repeats in kind. The leader chooses from a variety of meters to line the hymn to, such as common, short and long. Thus lined hymns might be sung in a different tune from how one normally hears it.

the pat down

Nothing to hide here

This time last week I was preparing to head to merrye olde England and gay Paree! Thursday at the butt crack of dawn (also known as 5:30 a.m.) I got up to shampoo and style my hair before we left. I knew we would be constantly on the go during the trip and didn’t want my hair to be a major concern. Also I didn’t want to give TSA a reason to pat down my hair. I’ve read horror stories about the experience. If celebrities have to go through pat downs, what hope would there be for me? Two-strand twists simply hanging down seemed like the best option to combat both problems. So I mixed up some curl-leeper (my fave product) and shea butter and twisted away. Typically twists are how I wear my hair during domestic travels. I never had a problem. Until this trip.

Bad children beware

Children are among my least favorite people. Actually, let me rephrase. BAD children are among my least favorite people. Too often I find myself surrounded by them. Many parents don't seem to think raising well-mannered children is a priority. Instead they let them run around like little heathens. Civilized society should not be forced to deal with their spawns of Satan. Perhaps that's why I was so sympathetic to the Dollar General employee who dispensed some old fashion discipline to a BAD child.

I'm a survivor

The roomie and I had a Scream marathon a few days ago. Between my screams every time Ghostface jumped out and ignored yells saying, “Call 9-1-1,” we discussed our survival plan for a similar situation. You’ve got to have a plan these days for everything. I’m still assembling my zombie apocalypse plan, but the one for a small town serial killer is ready to go and completely fool proof. We won’t be dying because of Ghostface anytime soon. Of course we initially wondered if I would make it to the end because the black person ALWAYS dies in horror movies/thrillers. Or do they? In recent years we’ve actually survived. Based on the movies I’ve seen, here are some of the actors who lived to fight another day:

Time to go: Part 2

Bad attitudes don't help bad situations. The assistant editor was thrown into a bad situation but part of the problem was his personality. He was a deplorable person, which he admitted. He once called a meeting with three of us reporters to say we are the worse staff members ever. Morale had already been low, and he made it worse by insinuating we all were about to be fired (did I mention this was on my birthday). Yet when you asked for specific details of what we did wrong he couldn’t pinpoint them (sounds familiar). Ultimately the assistant editor was the one let go, and a new editor came in. Finally I would have the leadership, consistency and training I craved. Or so I thought. I was wrong. I thought things would change, and they did in some areas, but they stayed the same in too many others.

the silver fox

She found her first gray hair too!

Somebody grab a bottle of Clairol ASAP! The gray is coming! Yes, yours truly found her first gray hair on Saturday. There had been a series of false alarms (mainly because a certain white cat is always in my bed which leads to white fur always in my hair), but this time it is official. My dad went gray in his early 30s and I have several other cousins who got silver locs at a young age. It wasn't much of a surprise that I've found gray already.

Time to go: Part 1

Most people ask if I left the news industry because I didn’t like being a reporter. I loved it. By no means was I a world class journalist. Sure I was a good reporter, but I wasn’t GREAT. Still I loved being a reporter. Yes, there was little pay, late hours and no appreciation, but that didn’t outweigh my love of writing, meeting new people and telling their story and just being out and about. The real reason I left was because I was scared of one day hating it.

what i want to be

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up anymore. Maybe I never really had it figured out. That thought kind of scares me. Everyone always pointed to me as the person who had a definite career plan. The one thing I’ve always been gung-ho about is being a reporter. I wrote for my middle school and high school newspapers. I interned at newspapers during high school and college. And of course I worked as a reporter for several years post-college. But now I don’t.

word problems

Everything is better with friends.

I have a confession to make: I suck at word games. Yes, it is a sad but true fact. My word game skills are severely lacking, despite being a spelling bee champion, avid reader and former wordsmith. Scrabble is never a board game you will hear me suggest playing. The Upwords game I had as a child was enjoyed by all of my family members, except me. The knowledge of my poor word game skills should make me stay away from all of them, right? Wrong.

It’s feeding time

Public breastfeeding incidents have been in the news several times over the last few months with some sparking quite a bit of controversy. There was the professor who breastfed while teaching her class and received a reprimand. Beyonce fed Blue Ivy while out at lunch one day. Another story showcased military mothers breastfeeding in uniform. And who can forget the Time Magazine cover story featuring a 3-year-old being breastfed? Just the other day I read an article about three mothers who staged a “nurse-in” at their Delaware mall to spread awareness about a woman’s right to nurse in public. They were asked to leave by a state trooper and security guards.

this, that and the other

The other night I was perusing "Stuff Christians Like" by Jon Acuff and had a laugh fest for a good hour. It got me to thinking several question about this, that and the other regarding church and Christian life, such as:

the professional mourner

All these years I’ve been wasting my talents. I’ve officially found my niche in life – a professional mourner. You have the funeral, and I’ll bring the tears. To think I’ve missed out on this particular career path for so long.

Love, marriage and a baby carriage

Is there something in the water? Everyone seems to either be a) getting engaged, b) getting married or c) having a baby. I can't log on Facebook without seeing an announcement about a friend joining one of those categories. It's enough to drive a single girl crazy, and I am not liking that at all.

Can you testify?

It's a new year which means Writing Wednesday is back in full effect. I promise to do so much better than last year which featured numerous bouts of disappearing (blame it on my chronic sickness). One of my goals for this year is to be healthier. That should translate to writing regularly and not owing the Writing Wednesday Pot. Also I plan on writing an additional post at least a few times a month not on Writing Wednesday.

For 2013 I decided to take it back to the Old School for my New Year's Eve celebration. Instead of partying it up I went to Watch Night Service at church. A watch night service is a late-night Christian Church service held on New Year's Eve. Watch night service is especially important to the black community because many slaves were said to have gathered in churches on New Year's Eve,in 1862 to await the Emancipation Proclamation being enacted on Jan. 1, 1863.

The best birthday gift ever

An example of the journal

There's just something about a good gift that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now I do so enjoy giving them, but I also enjoy receiving good gifts. I love it when friends and family pick out something that really shows a thorough understanding of my likes. A few years ago a friend made me a bootleg copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon (we were in high school and broke). The other year my Secret Santa bought me a Clawdeen Wolf Doll. The birthday gift I received last year was my absolute favorite.

I can't be bothered Pt. 2

My generation does not know how to date anymore. Text messages have replaced meaningful conversations. I don't know who thought that was a good idea. It is the absolute worse concept ever, yet none of the young (and old) people of today seem to understand that.

I can't be bothered PT. 1

The older I get the more hellish I become toward the male species. I blame my cynical nature. At the end of the day I just can't be bothered with some of the things they say and do. Case and point this one gentleman I recently started chatting with.

christmas list - childhood version

"I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need..." Um speak for yourself Mariah Carey. I want a lot. Well my inner child wants a lot for Christmas. A few weeks ago I received the Target, Walmart and American Girl toy catalogs, and the 7-year-old inside of me squealed with glee. I immediately went to work at circling all the things I, uh a yonger version of me, would want. I'm happy to see toy catalogues are still filled with toys. Apparently the children still like them. Of course there were a few tablets thrown in the mix as well, but they were definitely kid-friendly. If I was a child today my Christmas list would look something like this:

Still the last to know

It's happening again. Someone in the family is in a serious condition and no one bothers to tell me until DAYS later. I've said it before, I'm always the last to know when it comes to family matters.

NaBloPoMoem

In honor of me completing this year's NaBloPoMo, I have written a poem.

loves of my reading life

Reading is my absolute favorite past time. Often I neglect performing necessary chores - such as washing my hair, cooking or cleaning - because I get lost in a good book. Many of the books I read are part of a series, and over the years I have developed "crushes" on several of the main characters. If only the men of the real world were like the ones in the books I read. I promise I would get my act together to be on their team. My book loves include:

bun head

This week I have been experimenting with wearing a bun every day. Every. Single. Day. Who knew there were so many different bun styles to wear? It's partially out of not wanting to wash my hair every week. I'm trying the every other week approach for the winter.Basically I wear it twisted week one and loose during week two. The buns have helped me stretch not washing my hair.

the faux beau

One of my male friends has this annoying habit of always asking about my love life. It was non-existent last week. It's non-existent this week. More than likely it will be non-existent next week. Maybe if I was beating guys off with a broom I could understand the perpetual interest in my love lack, or lack thereof. No, I'm perpetually dateless, and he knows this. So during one umpteenth time of him asking about me dating someone I decided to make a faux beau up.

the ghost writer

Recently I was asked by one of my dad's friends to edit a Lenten devotional featuring writers from within their church association. Devotionals were due to me Nov. 11. Guess which writer has yet to turn one in. Yes, my own dear old dad. I've been bugging him about his devotionals for more than a month but to no avail. His excuse is being too busy. Yeah right. Just because you pastor a church, serve as moderator for a church association and as a vice president for the state convention doesn't mean you're busy. Well maybe just a little.

baby it's cold outside

Sometimes I forget which season is the current one we're in at the moment. Blame it on Florida weather. The weather ranges from hot to really hot. Occasionally we try to throw in something else called less hot. When it's "less hot," natives know to dress in layers for it will indeed be "cold" in the morning, but by noon the temperature will rise to 75 degrees again. That wool coat will be overkill come lunchtime when you are sweating like a pig. At least that was the case last week.

family holiday traditions

I've always said once I have my own family we would start our own holiday traditions. My parents don't really listen to my suggestions for traditions.And trying to get the rest of my family to follow would nearly be impossible. So I need a familyof my own. Well marriage is pretty far away and children are definitely not on the horizon anytime soon, but I do have a family of sorts - my roommates.

Character death

I'd like to think I don't typically get too attached to a book, movie or TV series character. The key word here is "Think." The reality is I get attached to characters easily. When Mufasa died in The Lion King my face was covered in tears. I still don't think I'll recover from Paul's death on Dollhouse. My lastest major blow was the death of Sirius Black in Harry Potter. Yes, I am tardy for the party, but the loss is still felt just as fresh as if I had read the books when they originally came out.

Being thankful

Things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving:

1. Two awesome roommates
2. My circle of close friends
3. My family
4. Ozzy, who is NOT my cat
5. My job
6. My play family
7. God's grace and mercy
8. You my five followers
9.  My bestest friend
10. Thanksgiving leftovers!

pre-thanksgiving poem

With the help of my Play Cousin I wrote a special Pre-Thanksgiving poem. Share it with your family and friends next year.

The night before Thanksgiving.

Spoiler Alert

There is something about a good spoiler that just makes you want to read or watch whatever it's in regards too. Oh wait, am I the only person who likes spoilers? OK, my name is TONI and I like book and movie spoilers. Knowing the ending first makes it all worthwhile for me.

n-word too deep

Yours truly is a mentor to several young people. I try to keep an atmosphere that is accepting and allows them to be who they are. For the most part they are respectful when around me. If they should slip up and say a bad word, I don't wash their mouth out with soap. I do say, "Language," and they get the message to keep it clean. But the other day I had to put one in check (in a nice way of course) about her word choice. Instead of cussing, she used the dreaded N-Word.

when bridezillas attack

I have a confession. I am addicted to watching Bridezillas. I blame my roommate K. She is always watching it on Netflix, and being the nosy person that I am, I have to watch it too. The chicks are CRAZY. And not in a good way. These women are demanding, rude, inconsiderate and just plain evil. It sort of makes you dread every being a part of a wedding.

Play to win

I play to win.

There is one rule I live by when going to a shower event: play to win. Whatever game is thrown my way at a shower I play to win. It doesn't matter if it's a baby or bridal shower. Games can range from a bridal shower word search to baby shower bingo. There might even be 100 hundred other guests. Regardless of the situation there is one thing to keep in mind - I PLAY TO WIN!

the hair extravaganza

It's time for me to have a hair extravaganza. I say extravaganza because my hair process takes anywhere from two hours to two days to complete (it depends on how I am feeling). The extravaganza only occurs once every week (actually it's more like every other week), otherwise I would go broke from buying hair products (and never have time to do anything). From start to finish this is my hair extravaganza:

Coming soon: New American



For voters who've considered suicide when the election is too much.

 It looks like the South wants to rise again (because we all know how well that turned out the last time). There could be a “New America” in the future. The other day I was talking to my Play Cousin about the people that want to secede from the U.S. Residents across the nation have signed petitions requesting that their state – mainly Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Texas and yes even my Florida – be allowed to peacefully secede from the country because of the presidential election. PC and I can find foolishness to talk about even with the most serious of topics (much like Cee and I did during election night). We began to ponder many things if the people were allowed to secede.

children on strike

What's a living wage for a child these days?

Parents beware! Your children might go on strike if you don’t pay them enough for doing chores. Several weeks ago I read a Dear Abby column regarding allowance pay. The writer said she received $3 a week to do household chores such as taking out the garbage, washing dishes, vacuuming and setting the table every night. The child felt her pay was too little for all she did. She was tired of being her mother’s “slave” and declared herself on strike until the pay increased. At that point I had to put the paper down.

No Shave November

You won't catch me out in public with my hairy legs showing.

“Sometimes I shave my legs, and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I comb my hair, and sometimes I won’t. Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes. It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul ...” Video by India.Arie

Dreamland inspiration

I wonder what he's dreaming about.

Within the past four days I’ve had several weird dreams. Unusually I might have one weird dream every quarter. To have four in just a week has got to be a record.  I once read that dreams mean something. Mine make no sense; however, they are fairly entertaining.


I shared a dream a year ago with some friends. One of them used it as a basis for a book (Roller Derby Vampire Girl) which he wants to get published. Another of my weird dreams would make a good TV or novel series in the fantasy realm. Maybe one of the dreams I had this week could be the basis of another artistic venture.

I’m too lazy to pen a book, script or play myself. Perhaps you, my four readers, might be inspired to create something. Below is a quick synopsis of what I remember from the weirdest dream. Just give me a shout out in the book, moving credits or show premiere (and a check would be nice too). If by chance you have an interpretation of my dream, please share it.

God save the small town

Growing up I lived in a major city, but after high school I started living in smaller and smaller places. These days I live in a small town. There are a lot of downsides to a small town, such as the lack of a dating pool, cultural diversity and just having something to do on the weekends. My current location is three times bigger than the last one so I will survive (just like Gloria Gaynor) However, living in a small town isn’t all bad. There are also many some a few advantages. People are generally friendlier, and everybody knows your name. It’s like Cheers all over the place. Traffic is practically nonexistent, and I can typically get from one end of town to the other in 15 minutes. That never happened in my hometown.

The cat and the maiden

The cat in his favorite spot - the maiden's bed.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful maiden named Antonia who lived in a magical City filled with Lakes. For many moons Antonia lived alone with just a betta fish, Ralphie, but no friends in the city to really call her own. One day she met another fair maiden, K, who offered the promise of friendship (and cheaper lodging). Antonia packed her belongings and immediately moved in. And soon her days were filled with roommates – and cats.

Lunchtime change

Just a bunch of twists hanging freely.

Some mornings I can’t decide on how I want to wear my hair. I get up about 40 minutes before work (I literally work five minutes from my house). Once I’ve showered, gotten dressed and so forth, I usually have about 10 minutes to spare on my hair. In such a short amount of time I might not have a clear hair vision for the day.

Oh, am I late?

The start of it all.

Usually I’m late for whatever is the biggest TV show, film or book craze. I completely missed watching Lost. I didn’t see Batman Begins or the Dark Knight until the Dark Knight Rises came out. And The Hunger Games series is at the bottom of my reading priority list. I’m not anti being in the mainstream. You know how some people avoid the latest trend because everyone is on the bandwagon. I just don’t have the time to devote to everything as soon as it comes out. Eventually I want to get around to watching or reading whatever. Granted it might be several years later.

Final election thoughts

An interesting exchange happened between an 8-year-old girl and me today.  While sitting next to me (and working my nerves) during a luncheon, she asked who I voted for.

"That's a personal issue, and I don't share how I voted," I said.

"It better not be Obama," she said. "He's a liar. Did you  vote for him?"

"Like I said, it's personal, and I'm not sharing."

the end is near

I hope everyone exercised their right to vote today.

At long last election day is here. I feel like both parties have been campaigning for four years. Right now I am so happy this day has arrived. Once that last vote is tallied I might just do a dance of joy. There have just been so much negatvitiy with this election. Of course that probably is the case with every one. Can't we all just run without having to bring each other down? I won't bore you with an analysis on this year's election season, mainly because I'm just not that deep into politics to accurately give one. Seriousness is not an area I handle too well. So today's post will instead provide a list of some of my favorite election/political
/president/whatever movies. While you're waiting to hear the election results, pass the time watching one (or all) of them.

X marks the spot

Who can still write like this?

Apparently writing in cursive is starting to be a lost art. Do the children even know what cursive is anymore? The other day one of my students was signing a form, and I had to say, "What is that?" when I saw her signature. It wasn't like a doctor's signature, which is usually unreadable. Instead it looked like a first grader's attempt at writing in cursive. My best friend, who is a teacher, says students aren't taught penmanship anymore. Then what are they teaching the children? Testing?

Praise and Worship Mix

My worship is for real.

Some days I like to have random praise sessions. One day it might be at midnight on a Thursday. On another day it’s at 5 p.m. on a Wednesday. The days and times vary but the songs usually are the same. I never know when a desire for a praise break might hit. When it does, I simply answer the call and start playing my praise and worship mix. I enjoy a good sermon at church, but at home it's just the music and me. Like a good sermon, the words of a song can speak to my heart and move me to tears from hearing about how good God is to me even when I don’t deserve it. Therefore I present to you my praise and worship mix. Play any of these songs when you want an intimate time praising and thanking the Lord.

A fair account

Yay for the fair!

The fair is in town this week! That can only mean one thing, or three – corn dogs, funnel cake and frozen lemonade galore. Last year was the first time I actually had the opportunity to simply enjoy the fair. During my reporting days I always had to cover it. Every day was spent at the fair writing about some angle. Then I switched jobs and participated in the fair fun. A couple of friends and I hit up the rides until our hearts were content. This was of course followed by a feast of fair food. I felt like a kid again enjoying all the fun.

Direct approach

Subtlety is not a concept I comprehend. While most women can instantly recognize when a guy is flirting with or even interested in them, I sadly don’t notice. Usually a friend has to point it out to me, or it’s not until months later that I realize he likes me a little more than just a friend.  It would save me a lot of confusion if guys could just be a little more direct. Don’t beat around the bush because I won’t get it. For instance a male acquaintance recently revealed I rejected his request for a date. Me? Reject a date? I haven’t been on a date in several years. I promise if someone asked me out I would accept (in most cases).

NaBloPoMo - Guess who's back?

Visit www.nablopomo.com!

Welcome to the start of another National Blog Posting Month. Yours truly will be writing something new each day for the entire month of November. Think of this as a special treat for my followers, (all four of you if you're still there).

 This is my second year participating in NaBloPoMo. It was challenging of course the first time around. Imagine having to figure out a new topic to write about every day.  There’s not that much to talk about on a daily basis in the LC. The struggle was real in trying to avoid Writer’s Block throughout the month