Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I'm a survivor

The roomie and I had a Scream marathon a few days ago. Between my screams every time Ghostface jumped out and ignored yells saying, “Call 9-1-1,” we discussed our survival plan for a similar situation. You’ve got to have a plan these days for everything. I’m still assembling my zombie apocalypse plan, but the one for a small town serial killer is ready to go and completely fool proof. We won’t be dying because of Ghostface anytime soon. Of course we initially wondered if I would make it to the end because the black person ALWAYS dies in horror movies/thrillers. Or do they? In recent years we’ve actually survived. Based on the movies I’ve seen, here are some of the actors who lived to fight another day:

1. LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea, Hallowen: H20 and Mind Games – Seriously this guy just will not die. I’ve seen him in three horror/thriller movies, and he always survives in the end. Then again this is the same man who handled a home intruder.

2. Taye Diggs in House on Haunted Hill (the remake) – Honestly I just knew he was going to die. Color me surprised when he was still hanging on by the end of the movie.

3. Ving Rhames in Dawn of the Dead – I want Rhames’ character on my zombie apocalypse team. He would be a valuable asset because he survived the zombies (even if the credits left you wondering).

4. Ice Cube in Anaconda and Salli Richardson and Eugene Byrd in Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid – My hat goes off to all of them for surviving. I would have just screamed like a banshee at the sight of a giant snake. They all possessed more bravery than I care to have in a horror situation, especially one with snakes.

5. Patricia Belcher in Jeepers Creepers – The creeper literally walked up to her, sniffed or licked her (it’s been years since I saw this) and left her alone. He could have ripped her to shreds, yet she survived. Sadly Justin Long did not.

6. Loretta Devine in Urban Legend – Devine came in ready to take on a killer. Heroism like that is just STUPID. That’s how you die! At least it worked for her.

7. Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection – I knew he would make it for the simple fact that the other two black people died. If there are multiple black people in a horror movie, than at least one will make it to the Promised Land.

8. Duane Martin in Scream 2 – You know why he survived? Because he LEFT when all the killings were happening. He was the smartest person in the whole film series. Don’t hang around when there’s some psycho killer on the loose. Get thee away from the place. Book a ticket overseas if you must. Just go! Come back when the killer is dead (and by dead I mean decapitated, shot multiple times in the head or burnt to a crisp).

9. Keith David and Vin Diesel in Pitch Black – Almost everyone dies in this movie, but David survives thanks to help from Diesel’s character. I want Riddick on my zombie apocalypse team too!

10. Jada Pinkett-Smith in Demon Night – I thought the little boy was going to be the lone survivor in this movie. Isn’t there some rule to not kill children? Oh well. Pinkett-Smith somehow managed to make it through all the horrors. And Billy Zane’s character even fell in love with her.

Which movies did I leave out (yes, there are others)? What’s your survival plan?

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