Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Avoid the Holiday Hustle

It will be 10 times worse Christmas Eve.
Being sick is a constant state of being for me. Usually I have some of everything to treat my latest ailment. Such was not the case Monday, and I found myself at Walmart putting together a get-better kit. There were so many people in the store holiday shopping, I thought I would never leave. You could barely move from aisle to aisle, and lines were endless. I only had a few items and waited a good 30 minutes. The whole process made my head hurt. Then it started to hurt even more when I realized I hadn’t even started my Christmas shopping yet. In a few days, I too will be in the mix of the holiday hustle. Just imagine how worse it will be. The mad dash to get those last few Christmas gifts will create utter chaos. I was inspired by the scene and my last minute gift buying to write a new book, “For Christmas shoppers who’ve considered homicide when the super store isn’t enough!” Using the book as a guide you can learn how to miss all the holiday madness. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the chapters:

Chapter 1: Christmas is coming (a little late)
Avoid the whole holiday hustle and bustle by purchasing gifts for everyone after Dec. 25. They’re probably a little cheaper any way. Set a random day in January to celebrate Christmas. It’s probably colder anyway if you live in Florida.

Chapter 2: I can hardly wait ‘til Christmas
Forget Dec. 25. Why not celebrate Christmas in July? Put the tree up, decorate the house and even host a party. There won’t be any rush while you’re shopping for gifts. Focus on family togetherness during the actual Christmas Day.
Chapter 3: The gift that keeps on giving
Instead of buying gifts this year, donate the money you would have normally spent to a local charity in each person’s name. No lines, no worries, no problem.

Chapter 4: I’ve got a secret, Santa
Host ONE big Secret Santa exchange/ or White Elephant party with your family and friends. Buy only ONE gift during Christmas.

Chapter 5: The early elf catches the worm
Buy gifts throughout the year and complete the shopping list by Thanksgiving. Don’t let December catch you without any gifts purchased (yes, like me).

Chapter 6: Christmas made by hand
Make a handmade gift to give everyone. Something from the heart and the hand is always special. My creations have included vases, decorative pot holders and key chains. No, this is not just for children under 12.

Chapter 7: A card for Christmas
Gift cards. You either hate them or love them. Some people think they’re impersonal. I say, if you get them for a specific store you know the recipient loves then it’s thoughtful. And everyone loves Walmart.
Chapter 8: Santa went straight to cyber space
Why shop in person when you can go online? The world is at your fingertips. Just don’t order a gift Christmas Eve or else you’ll be stuck like Chuck.
Following these tips might help you avoid all those deranged shoppers. Just don’t avoid the true meaning of Christmas and get lost in the commercialization of the holiday. Make sure to spread some holiday cheer if you run with the masses during these last few weeks of shopping.


  1. lol

    Nice. All of those would make nice talking points. Especially the part when you say pick a random day to celebrate Christmas.


  2. papa smurf actually gave us our gifts a few days after christmas because of the sales. i can dig it.