Wednesday, December 4, 2013

How's my driving

Friends don't let me drive.
Riding with me while I’m driving will definitely make you feel closer to God. And it’s not just because I keep two Bibles in the car. I’m a horrible driver. Perhaps the world’s worse driver. There’s just no better way to put it.

For years I used to discredit family and friends when they pointed out my driving skills, or lack thereof. Of course I’ve hit an inanimate object or two. So what if I change lanes without turning on blinkers. Yes, I’ve been known to hit the 90 mph mark. No harm, no foul right? Sadly it’s becoming apparent to even me that my driving is hazardous to my health. Just look at the battle scars on my car. Poor Green Machine.

I blame the State of Florida, and the fact that I never took the driving test. I’m pretty certain I should have taken it to nip any bad driving in the bud. I took Driver’s Ed, but unfortunately all we did was book work for those several weeks. There were also two trips to the driving range where I had to practice maneuvering around cones at 5 mph. But I never took an actual road test with an instructor. I’m not sure how that happened. All I know is they gave me a voucher, and one year later (I was in no rush for a license when I knew I couldn’t driver) I went to the DMV.  No one bothered to ask me if I actually could drive, and I neglected to volunteer that information.

Of course my parents’ tried to teach me how to drive once they learned I didn’t really know how. There was a lot of yelling involved from them. And a lot of hitting signs (they jumped out of nowhere) from me. To this day I still don’t know why they agreed to let me drive to my senior prom. One of the brave souls who rode with me wrote fondly of how I almost killed us in my yearbook. Kill is such an exaggeration. I only almost ran off a bridge. We would have survived. The car probably wouldn’t have been so lucky.

Perhaps I need to take Driver’s Ed all over again. Or at the very least the road test. But my fear is I’m going to fail, and the DMV will revoke my license. How will I get around? Riding a bike is not an option since I still need to learn how. Maybe I just need a driving tutor, and then I can sharpen my skills behind the wheel. Now I just need one brave soul to volunteer.

What do others say about your driving? What can I do to improve mine?

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