Monday, November 3, 2014

crying foul

I forgive, but it takes a while to forget.
The other day my BFF cussed me out. Like literally cussed me out. I think I got called everything but a child of God. It hurt me too. I'm a sensitive soul, though I seem thick-skinned.

Perhaps had I done something particularly horrible to her (killed her dog, stole her husband, robbed her), I might have understood her foul display directed at me. But I didn't. A joke I made at her expense about lateness set her off, especially because she had a bad day. 

I jokingly said another friend and I had left her to go to our next destination because she was two hours late. That made her upset: first when she thought I was serious; and second when she found out it was a joke. It didn't help matters when I said, "Here is the world's tiniest violin playing the world's saddest song for you," as she listed reasons for being late. That made her even more upset. The foul mouth came when I  let her know she doesn't respect peoples' time because she is always late. ALWAYS. LATE.

Once upon a time, I too used to always be the late friend. I could use the defense that in most cases I was traveling at least a 45 minute journey to hang with my other friends. Really my actions showed I didn't care about my friends by failing to leave in enough time to get to where they were waiting. Granted I didn't come to this conclusion on my own. The fantastic Cee pointed it out, and I have worked very hard at not keeping others waiting. Now I get annoyed if I have to wait on someone for over an hour. Is this payback for all my years of untimeliness? But I digress.

I've heard there is some truth in every joke, and honestly we could have left her. She didn't bother calling us to say, "Hey I'm running late." But we didn't leave her. We weren't going to leave her at any rate. We know punctuality is not her thing. So I took a jab at it with a joke. Apparently my passive aggressive joke of saying we left her because she was tardy for the party was not the best way to bring awareness to a chronic issue. Granted, I tell her all the time she is late, so it was nothing new. 

What was new was the cussing I received. We've had disagreements before, but never to this level, complete with yelling, cussing and tears (from her) and yelling, blank stares and Kindle reading (from me). It seemed as if because I wasn't remorseful about making her upset, or what all she had been through that day made me the bad girl. Am I sorry for upsetting her? Yes. Do I care about what she went through? Yes.Or rather I am now. At the moment this all went down I wasn't. Once you start dropping too many f-bombs, b-bombs, abcdefg bombs at me, I don't hear anything you have to say. I've been yelled at, but no one else has ever cussed me out (and there was probably a time or two I "deserved" it).

I guess it shouldn't have been a surprised that she used such choice words in expressing her anger to me. She's always had a potty mouth. I was more so used to her crying and dramatics though when she found herself angry with me. I am happy to say we made amends. She apologized for going off, and I apologized that what I said upset her. Nonetheless, it does give me pause about us hanging again. Now I have to wonder will I say the wrong thing and get cussed out like a dog again. I'm not one for walking on eggshells around people, so I'll pass.

No comments:

Post a Comment