Monday, April 11, 2011

a friend like me

You know how some guys are a man’s man? Women want him. Men want to be like or him and be his friend. I’d like to think I’m a woman’s woman. Ambitious much? Perhaps, but people seem to genuinely like me. I’m fairly charming and down-to-earth. For the most part I can get along with anyone, especially if they look like me. To me it’s not that hard to be friendly with people. It always confuses me when I hear someone say they aren’t friends with a certain group.

Recently I came across an article on Clutch Magazine and the author wrote she doesn’t have any black female friends. Some of it stems from instances of childhood bullies. Her statement is nothing new. Essence Magazine had a feature story a year or so ago about black women and how we can't get along with each other. While in college I often heard other women say. “Oh I can’t get along with other women,” or “I just click better with men. Women are too this, that and the other.” Aren’t you a woman too? So does that mean you can’t get along with yourself?

Many of my friendships just started with me randomly talking to a person, black or otherwise. I tend to like everyone unless they give me a reason to feel otherwise. Sure, I’ve had my share of not-so-friendly black girls during my childhood. That simply turned me off to those particular people, not black women as a whole. Every black woman is not catty, rude or untrustworthy. The writer of the Clutch article mentioned she felt threatened and overwhelmed around other black women. She does have friends, just not black ones.

It’s funny how I never really hear men saying they can’t get along with each other or feel threatened by another man. I’d like to think I’m a hot commodity in the friendship arena. Who wouldn’t want to be my friend? I have a lot to bring to the table, mainly my quirky personality. Maybe it’s me. I just attract people easily. Being a woman’s woman is not for everyone. However if you choose to avoid possible friendships due to insecurity, then maybe it’s you.


  1. I've always been able to fit in with any group of people. In High School, I was definitely a bookworm. Still I hung out with the football players, and kicked it with the cheerleaders.

    To this day, because of my smarts, I've been able to mingle with any crowd. Older professionals, younger professional, musicians, drug dealers, whores, cops, and of course cats.

    I find myself in the darndest places at times, but everywhere I go, I the VIP treatment. It also seems like I double as a walking customer service agent with no particular specialty. People ask me questions about literally EVERYTHING under the sun. Questions about their cell phones, computers, why we adjust our clocks for daylight savings time - I even had a guy ask me how long a train would be sitting on the tracks - as if I like, knew the conductor or maybe could hack the train with my laptop. I mean, I got skills, Toni. (And) not in a Dunning-Kruger kind of way. I got skills, and that's attractive to anybody.


  2. They say every friend plays a role in your circle based on their skills. I think I bring the goofy in my circle.