Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Chronicles of Life ... lips do lie

Don’t let the moving lips fool you. I DO NOT talk to myself. I merely think aloud.
Thinking aloud is easily confused with talking to yourself. However, there is a slight difference between the two. You have to answer back to talk to yourself.
If you say something aloud but don't respond or hold a conversation with yourself, then it's OK. You're clearly not talking to yourself.
At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I have no qualms about thinking aloud, but I have noticed with increasing alarm that I do it quite a bit. I do it at work, at home, in the car, in public, wherever, whenever, whyever.
My coworkers notice me thinking aloud all the time. They usually think I’m talking to them. Then they just shrug me off as talking to myself.
To the casual observer, it would appear that I am talking to myself.
Well, I do not have dialogues with myself. Of course, no one probably believes me, but it is indeed the truth.
Sure I mutter about this and that aloud, but I don't go off into a full blown conversation.
The problem is I think aloud so much I tend to forget people are around. I'm just waiting on the day for everyone to start pointing and calling me the crazy lady.
Maybe I need to get a bluetooth so I can just act like I'm on the phone when I'm talking aloud. I used to look at people out the side of my eye when I thought they were having a conversation of one. Then I noticed the bluetooth. I could sport one, and everybody would be none the wiser about me talking aloud.
Or wouldn't it be cool if I could wear an earpiece like the secret service? Those that stared hard enough and saw the earpiece would think I'm like a spy or something. Just call me agent 007.5.
Better yet, I might just learn how to be a ventriloquist, and then my voice could project from someone else. No more crazy stares at me. I'll carry around a dummy named Mortimer and show off my skills.
OK in all honesty, I'm not doing any of the above. I know I'll just keep thinking aloud. I do it too much to stop. I'm not sure I even want to.
I'm comfortable thinking aloud. The rest of the world will just have to deal with it.
We all think to ourselves. I just take it one step further and actually think aloud. I'm not a quiet person anyway, and I like to talk.
Why must our thoughts be confined to the head? That seems a little crazy if you ask me. How do you know the voice you hear in your head is you and not some multiple personality?
At least when I think aloud, I know it's coming from me and not Bertha, the 56-year-old, gruff and tough short order cook inside of my mind.
Shakespeare put it best in "As you like it" when he wrote, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances..."
Well this player tends to have extended soliloquies.

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