Thursday, March 31, 2011

The age of lying

It always amazes me when people, women especially, don’t want to reveal their age. Ask some women their ages and they will nervously laugh and giggle your question away. Others will straight up say, “It’s none of your business.” If you don’t want to share it, well then fine by me. But I consider it even crazier to just lie about it. Why even bother to say anything?

I posted Thursday on Twitter about an exchange I had with a woman recently. She is older and someone I thought might be a good mentor. During the conversation I said I was 26. She responded, “I’m younger than you.” I had to ask, “You’re 25?” It wasn’t because I believed her. Not too many 25-year-olds have children that are sophomores in college or even in middle school. She must have popped out babies in pre-school. The woman then admitted she has been lying about her age for so long she doesn’t remember what it actually is. “I’m going to be 25 forever,” she said. I was at a loss for words. If you’re going to lie about your age, at least pick a number that’s a lot more believable.

Several of my friends have expressed not wanting to ever grow old. I wonder if one day they will lie about their ages.  I could probably get away with saying I’m 21-25, but I am enjoying 26. But unlike Jay-Z, I don’t want to be forever young. Do you know how many stupid things I did during 25 and below? Age should bring wisdom. I feel a little wiser with each year.

Lying about your age might not seem serious things to some people, but it demonstrates insecurity to me. You feel lying is necessary for acceptance. Perhaps you didn’t accomplish certain goals in your younger years and finally did. Maybe you alter your age to get kudos from others. I tweeted, “Saying you are 25 when you are 35 is not going to turn back the hands of time.” Thirty is not the new 20. It’s still the same 30. A wise person knows you must embrace your age. At least I know that at 26.


  1. I fully intend to lie about my age, though not to the point of a ten year difference (which you already knew, Ms. I wonder if my friends will). I think it has less to do with insecurity and more to do with the fact that I don't like high numbers unless it's my bank account.

    I don't know why you're amazed. We live in a time, and a country especially, where youth is praised and aging is the seen as the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman. What we are seeing, hearing, and eventually believing, is that we need to do this, that, or the other to feel younger. To look younger. To get our youth back. I am not surprised at all that most women over a certain age lie about it. Men don't have to, because maturing in a man is seen as a positive thing.

    I also disagree that 30 is the same 30, because it's not. Thirty year olds today are at different places in their lives than 30-somethings 20 or even 10 years ago. It's proven that, as a society, we're waiting longer to get married and have children. What was once the norm for a 30 year old in a previous decade (owning a home, spouse, at least one child, steady job) isn't the expectation anymore. That's how I interpret "30's the new 20."

  2. lol I actually wasn't even thinking of you when I wrote that line. And you, I am sure, are secure, but not everyone else is the same. Just please don't go around saying you're 19 and really be 40 with three children in college. I'm going to start a movement to praise age. Bump being young and stupid. I want to be old and wise. I can did your interpretation of 30s.