Liquor is quicker

It’s happening again. The dreaded yuckies are attacking me. But I refuse to let a cold bring me down. Not too long ago it seemed like I was sick for a year. Actually it was just November and half of December. I exaggerate sometimes. Normally I’m never sick for more than a few days each month – blame my week immune system - but something got a hold of me back then an wouldn’t let go, and I don’t mean the Holy Ghost.

It took a while for me to realize I wasn’t getting better after my first week. I tried Benadryl, Sudafed, Nightquil and two bottles of Robitussin. I drunk tea with honey by the pound and went through 10 boxes of tissues. The sickness still lingered. Finally I gave up and went to the doctor who diagnosed me with bronchitis. I got a prescription for Amoxicillin and thought everything would be cleared up by the time the bottle ran out. Wrong! I continued coughing like death was right around the corner. The constant runny nose and overall feeling of fatigue would not leave.

I went back to the doctor and he prescribed a Z-Pack which finally got the job done. Apparently, all of that could have been avoided if I had listened to old school remedies. Not the mustard plaster and garlic in the shoe my mother is always talking about (Voodoo). Or Father John – which tastes like death - my daddy champions. I’m breaking out alcohol, lemon juice and honey.

I heard so many variants of that remedy while sick. Some said use gin. Others prescribed whiskey. I’ve even heard vodka. I guess which alcohol is used doesn’t really matter. The point is it will knock you out and knock out whatever you have in the process. Getting drunk is the answer to sickness per the old folks. And you thought Grandma kept that Captain Morgan around just for rum cakes.

I have no fear of becoming a lush. There’s a bottle of vodka and tequila from about two years ago still in the bar. Maybe instead of reaching for that pack of Theraflu, I’ll try the bar. Liquor might just be quicker (just kidding).