Tuesday, January 6, 2015

irritable habit

Folks I am one irritable individual. Or maybe I should say I am easily irritated. It seems like being irritable is a habit I just can't break. I even made up a disease - Irritable Personality Syndrome - because of how much it effects me.

I know irritable personality syndrome must be a real thing because I suffer from it on a regular basis. A PSA for IPS would probably read like this: Did you know 1 in 3 Americans suffer from Irritable Personality Syndrome?

 Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a cure or even a support group for IPS. So I am trying different coping mechanisms to deal with it. One of them is Jeremy.

Recently I decided to create Jeremy, my very own personal assistant. Jeremy is a composite of all the people who irk me. Instead of taking my irritation out on them or resorting to my bad habit of calling people imbeciles, Jeremy will now bear the burden of it alone. Surely this well help aid me in ending my irritable habit.

I'm not sure why I picked the name Jeremy. Probably because he's a cousin of Jeff, the invisible teammate. Have you ever wondered who your favorite QB was throwing to when the ball landed nowhere during a football game? It was Jeff, the world's worse teammate. But I digress.

Just like Jeff can do no right, neither can Jeremy. Right now all I can seem to yell at him is, "You only had one job Jeremy!" For some reason it makes me feel better and less likely to bite someone's head off. I keep threatening to get rid of Jeremy, but at least he serves a useful purpose for channeling my irritable energy.

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