Friday, November 2, 2012

Direct approach

Subtlety is not a concept I comprehend. While most women can instantly recognize when a guy is flirting with or even interested in them, I sadly don’t notice. Usually a friend has to point it out to me, or it’s not until months later that I realize he likes me a little more than just a friend.  It would save me a lot of confusion if guys could just be a little more direct. Don’t beat around the bush because I won’t get it. For instance a male acquaintance recently revealed I rejected his request for a date. Me? Reject a date? I haven’t been on a date in several years. I promise if someone asked me out I would accept (in most cases).

 This guy and I live one hour apart and have known each other for about seven years. There seemed to be a mutual interest when we first met one summer, but it waned after I returned to college that fall. Still we kept in touch over the years. But I digress.

We saw each other a few months ago, and he said we should hang the next time I was in town. I said I would call (according to him at least, but I don’t remember that part). I never did. Honestly I took it as a generic response like when someone says, “Oh let’s do lunch,” but you never actually meet up. It really just didn’t seem like that serious of an issue to me. That wasn’t the case for him. He said it was an attempt to see if I was interested in hanging out which would have led to him asking me out. I have to go through all that just to get a date? I can’t be bothered!

 Why couldn’t he have just directly asked me to hang? His standpoint was we hadn’t talked or seen each other in ages. He didn’t want to ask me out of the blue and get shot down (which technically still happened). My dad said that men are sensitive creatures don’t like rejection (Does anyone for that matter?), so they often act indirectly to gauge the level of interest. Clearly that doesn’t work well with me.

The scenario should have played out something like this:
He: “When are you next in town?”
Me: “Oh I’ll be here the third weekend of next month.”
He: “Well let’s hang that Saturday definitely.”
Me: “OK that would be cool.”

That would have been direct enough for me because he had a specific date in mind, instead of a general idea of hanging. It would have been even better if he had just asked me out, directly. Now I’m just asking for too much.


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